dryada

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 15:30:58 GMT

Okay, I've got to post all of the pics from Zlatan's outing with Maximilian back in September, they're just too cute.

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 21:07:32 GMT

So, Sweden played two qualification matches a while back. I know I'm hopelessly late, but as I was away from my computer then, I am going to make a post now. Because of the love.

The matches were against Hungary and Malta away. Having, as per usual, put in a couple of truly awful games, we were in the position of needing to win all four remaining matches for a chance to at least get to play-off.

The NT gathered in Stockholm for a couple days of training, and Zlatan spent them wearing purple shirts, getting that wonderfully boyish haircut, and hanging out with Olof Mellberg in the city (they later had dinner at an intimate little Italian trattoria on Östermalm, too). Pics:

He also spoke to some journalists. Alternating between brilliant grins and bitching, the push-pull of his interviews were pretty maddening. When he was asked about coach Lars Lagerbäck's best traits, he just grinned, looking coyly at Lagerbäck, who told him "You don't have to answer, you know" (in the end, he did offer up a couple of really rather nice things, like Lagerbäck's throughout research on the NT players). When asked about his influence as team captain, he proved to have completely misunderstood his duties as to the fanbase with the answer: "Everyone in the NT is professional, they know what to do. It's not like I'm going to come after them with a whip, you know, telling them to jump just cause I wanna see them jump." He spoke proudly of the younger players, and added that if he felt any responsibility as team captain, it was that of making sure they felt welcome in the NT. Lots of mature responses all around, except when he was faced with his old nemesis Robert Laul, the journalist who first made him start boycotting Aftonbladet. Laul, who showed up in the mixed zone after the last game, had grown a beard, and Zlatan just broke off right in the middle of answering questions, to stare, wide-eyed, at Laul. Then he said, loudly and unbelievably obnoxiously: "Fuck, you look so fucking bad", before turning back to the other reporters. The atmosphere was a bit subdued afterwards (not the national team captain's proudest moment).

Sweden played surprisingly well against Hungary, except we didn't get anything in. Olof Mellberg had a header goal in the 10th minute, after which we just couldn't score, despite a lot of great attacks. The Hungarian players were quite dirty at times - Zlatan at one point got headbutted in the chin and tore his lower lip and got a cut on his cheek, and I was sure he was going to lose a tooth. In the 80th minute, Hungary scored on a penalty kick, and things started to look quite desperate - Lagerbäck put in the wonderfully pretty Sebastian Larsson and Marcus Berg, but nothing happened, then went with the tall and handsome Tobias Hysén, to no avail. We got 3 minutes of extra time, and in the literally last minute, Zlatan got a long ball from Rasmus Elm, got it on his toe, had to push through the defense with the ball yards ahead of him, the goal keeper came sliding out and tried to save his kick but couldn't hold on to it so the ball bounced back, Zlatan got it smack in his lower abdomen and it sailed into the goal at 93.07.

Zlatan lost his breath and went down on his knees, and was tended to by Tobias Hysén ("All I could hear was Tobbe telling me to breathe", Captain Drama later told the press). Then Daniel Majstorovic came along and lied down on top of him, kissing his throat as Zlatan was passing out on the ground. We were all so happy, and the press dubbed it "The Belly of God". You could compare the event to #24 here (to be sure every Swedish fan did).

Some pics:

(Olof Mellberg böghög after the first goal.)

(Breathless hero Zlatan.)

(Pretty Marcus Berg.)

Afterwards the goal scorers Mellberg and Zlatan gave interviews in the mixed zone, and were very cute together. At one point, the reporters were so eager to get Zlatan's answers on tape, Mellberg got hit in the head with a microphone, and Zlatan's wound re-opened as he gigglesnorted, blood dripping down his chin. Then, they went out together in Budapest (having gotten permission from Lagerbäck this time around).

Sweden-Malta was an extremely bland affair, with Marcus Berg scoring the only goal of the match via a Maltese defender. Sweden play their last two games against Denmark away and Albania at home. The fact that we need to beat Denmark, currently head of the group but with the need to win (after having lost some points these last two games), at the Parken Arena in Copenhagen, in order to (maybe) get to the WC, makes me not a little desperate.

Am ending with assorted Helena Seger pictures.

(Helena's shoes)

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 22:14:31 GMT

Parts of an old interview with Zlatan, back when he was ninenteen.

(Facts on Malmö FF, Ajax, the NT etc are left out.)

Ajax is playing Twente away. The goal keeper fails to clear the penalty area, and Zlatan Ibrahimovic is suddenly alone with him. Jubilant, he stretches his arms to the sky - his trademark goal celebration - and, after that, he scores. It's a lovely show of utter arrogance.

A couple of days later we meet, at the Amsterdam Arena. Me and the photographer have travelled about a 100 miles, prepared everything meticulously.

Zlatan enters the dressing room carrying a stack of posters. As we sit down he calls for the press agent: "I need a marker!" And starts working his way through the stack, signing every poster with a Z and the number 9.

While we're speaking to him.

Not quite as lovely.

Fully as arrogant.

He's even skinnier than before, that's the first thing I notice as he walks off the field, a couple of hours earlier. In Amsterdam, there's no skipping breakfast and then stuffing yourself with pyttipanna [extremely greasy dish made from left-overs from the kitchen] at the local club diner, like he'd do back in Malmö. And they aren't having with the players spending evenings in front of the computer with soda and candy.

That's the first thing Zlatan informs me when I ask him about the main differences between Ajax and Malmö FF.

That they don't let him have enough candy here.

It is hard, after all, not to like the boy.

He's not easy to interview. It appears his favourite moments during the interview are when he gets to answer "no comments", and hit us with his - quite famous by now - radiant Zlatan grin. He enjoys playing hard to get.

"I do keep people at bay. I know the deal. I know most of them come up to me, not to get to know me, but because of who they already think I am".

(...)

We don't get any closer to his home than the street where he lives. A lot of people has asked him and no, they don't get any further. And for that matter he doesn't really have a home.

"Nah. The place is, like, empty."

So we ask him to pick some other place where he's comfortable.

"I don't know. I haven't been around much. I'm mostly at the apartment."

"I thought you said you didn't have a home?"

"I don't, but there's a computer there."

You can't tell by this text, but all his replies are lightening quick. In his monosyllabic Rosengård Swedish - spaggemalmöitiska, as we call it in Malmö - he'll deliver his oneliners, often such elegant ones that you'd expect he got them out of a manuscript.

The only thing we can spot on the street is his silver Mercedes CLK 430 Cabriolet. The one he was driving somewhat over a 100 kilometres per hour - 30 above the speed limit - when he lost his license. The car had to be transported down here. He still doesn't have a license. Is he planning on retaking it?

"Right, it's coming up! I'm going home to get it."

When I talk to his mother later, she mentions that he's getting it on his 20th birthday. It sounds like Zlatan. You can only ever win, so why not celebrate your birthday by driving again?

"It'll be nice. I don't like it when others drive me to practise. I want to get there myself. Take my time, hang around the kitchen. I should get there in time, of course, but in my own time."

And he's getting a new car.

"When I get my license you'll see. When I come to Sweden this summer. But it'll be so fast, no one will make out the model before I'm gone!"

"I hate to remind you, but you do recall what happened last time you went above the speed limit?"

"Right! But this time they won't catch me! Nah, kidding."

(...)

We let him off at his empty apartment. He has ordered some furniture, though.

"Yeah, it'll get here. But just buying a sofa means you have to wait like 6-7 weeks. So."

"You can't shop at Ikea? There's a store just by the arena."

"Nah. Not my style, Ikea."

"You want designer furniture?"

"I want things that are special. And that don't break straight away. I'm doing a good job promoting Ikea, aren't I? Haha! I don't know, I just want nice things."

(...)

We're about to take the pictures for the interview. Since we're going out of town for a bit, we've got a cab driver, and arrive at the Ajax Arena on time. Zlatan suddenly decides he needs a cell phone. It'll just take half an hour. So we wait. We wait half an hour, a whole hour, two. We wait and the cab driver watches DVD:s in his cab while his money ticks in. Eventually, Zlatan arrives.

"Oh, I didn't realise it was a cab. I thought he was a friend of yours."

He's got himself a phone, the new Nokia Communicator. And a bag full of Playstation games.

(...)

He miss watching the news in a language he understands.

"Yeah, down here everything is, like, doch doch doch. I have no idea."

"But you've started studying Dutch?"

"Yeah. It's nice. And some players that speak African languages, they just can't pronounce the words, so we'll laugh together. And the teacher is alright. Yes, it's nice. Then again, we have to go or they fine us."

I ask him to translate the words "god verdome".

"Yeah, that's a swearword, right? The goal keepers scream that all the time, I know that one. God verdome! Jonge!" ("Goddammit, kid!")

(...)

When he signed the contract this spring he had more to consider than just his career. He was engaged to Maria Olhage [here is a recent pic of Maria Olhage (centre), who is currently working as a model] and things were going well. But then the engagement was broken off and Zlatan had to move down to Amsterdam alone. He's been very quiet about that, and this time is no exception. But at least he doesn't laugh it off with another 'no comments'. It's not quite as funny.

"No, I don't want to talk about that. That's just the way it ended."

"How about the women down here? Are you doing alright?"

"I want to be alone. I don't want a relationship or date anyone. If I were to be in a relationship it would be with Mia."

***

Heartbreak endnote!

Sun, 31 May 2009 19:58:30 GMT

"Z"

Reporter for Aftonbladet, graciously taken back into favour by Zlatan Ibrahimovic in 2008: Nice to see you again, Zlatan. My congratulations to an amazing season and the 08/09 victory.
Zlatan: Thank you, it feels great. My eleventh title. But this Scudetto is the best one so far.
R: How come?
Z: Milan was back, Juventus was back. It wasn't the easiest year, but we dominated from day one to the last.
R: Today, you're a goal away from becoming the first Swedish top scorer since Gunnar Nordahl of Milan in 1955. You know of him?
Z: Yes. Oh, yes. I didn't know he was the latest, though. It's time we update that list, don't you think? I'm not an expert on them, though, the Grenoli, it's a bit too far back. I've heard them mentioned a lot, but I'm not sure what to measure them against.
R: You're about to equal them, now.
Z: Okay, I actually thought I was a lot bigger than they were, haha!
R: Well, it depends on how you view it...there were three of them, after all... Is that important to you, writing history?
Z: Nah. Not like that. But of course, the more of those moments you've got, the bigger you get. And you do want that. That's why you play, why I play at least. It's been good so far, so now I'll just win the scoring race, and then that's been done. And after that I'll move on.
R: Did you talk about that in Inter? The team has been serving you goals ever since you won the league.
Z: Yes. Mourinho told them to. So now it's like: no 1, win the game, no 2, help Zlatan score. That's nice.
R: You've scored some amazing goals this season. What's your favourite?
Z: The goals that would be hard to reprise. Out of the top 5 goals in Italy this season, I think 4 of them are mine. That's my opinion, at least. My favourite ones are the back heel against Bologna, the chip against Reggina and the free kick against Fiorentina.

*

On the Italian crowd and today's football:
R: What do you have to say about the Italian fan culture? Just recently a legendary player like Paolo Maldini was booed by the crowd, in his farewell game with Milan. What are your thoughts on that?
Z: That was just tragic. If the crowd won't honour Maldini, after what he's done for that club, you've got to ask yourself what the fuck anyone could ever possibly do to make them happy.
R: Something similar happened to you when you were playing against Lazio, and you started hushing the crowd down. You were pretty annoyed then, weren't you?
Z: Nah, I wasn't annoyed. I was pissed. Not because they were booing me, but because they'd been booing the whole team since the start of the first half. What's that about? Go ahead and boo us if we lose, if we draw. But before it even starts? You go watch football to get a kick, to experience something. And the crowd can play a part in that, they can get me going, make me better. Then we both get ours. But if they're booing beforehand... And that game against Lazio...
R: You beat them, 2-0.
Z: Yeah, that's what I mean. What's their problem? In the dressing room everyone told me they were on my side. That I expressed what they all felt. And that if anyone should've done it it should have been me.
R: It wasn't just the finger, though. There were some gestures towards the the crotch area...
Z: Yes, well, whatever crossed my mind, I did that. I wanted to show them that they'd get whatever they were bringing to the stadium.
R: What happens in your head when you decide to do something like that? You just lose it?
Z: Huh, like with the feints, you just do it. You don't plan everything that happens on the field and you shouldn't. The stuff that people talk about, that they remember, isn't usually planned. But I stand by it. I won't apologize to anyone. The crowd ought to apologize to the team, officially. I'm not going to issue an apology or anything, I don't own them anything in this case.
R: What causes this type of reactions from the crowd?
Z: I don't know. In Italy, some of it is probably because the fans haven't ever played football themselves. It's a different thing in England. Different mentalities.
R: There are some people that will boo you in every single match. Why is that?
Z: I'm not the type of player who'll stay in the same club my whole career. I enjoy challenges, to try and win in a new environment. Whether the crowd is happy about that or not, I can't help them with that. I can only try and make the right decisions for me, and to deliver. Also, they have all sorts of reasons for booing. It's political, or it's just someone starts and gauds the others on. So you've got a couple, then ten people booing you and it'll seem like the whole stand. But as long as the club stand by you and they're happy with you, I could care less if some people in the crowd give me the finger or whatever they do.
R: That attitude towards the club, that you share with several others of the top players, how does that affect the atmosphere in the team?
Z: That's not a problem, we'll respect each other's decisions. When Figo told us he'd quit, that was sad, but we respect his decision.
R: But what does it matter for the fans, I mean? Did it mean anything at all to football, when the players were faithful to and proud of their teams? These days they just go wherever the money is. Doesn't anything get lost by that?
Z: Nah, it's the opposite. That's the reason football is interesting today. That you get the chance to see how far you can take your game, how far you can take football, the philosophy of that particular club. I mean, look at the alternative. Arsenal never buys the best players. With the money you pay as a fan for a year's worth of tickets these days, and you don't get as much football back - you get the youth academy - as far as the fans go, that can't be fun either.

*

On vacation and Adriano:
R: What've you got to say about the city of Milan? Do you enjoy it?
Z: I know my way about it. I've got my daily route. I live in it with two crazy kids. I don't hang out with a lot of the other players out on town, though. I practise with them everyday, that's enough. And, well, you get along better with some, same as with any work mates. I bet you don't get along with all the people in the staff, huh? Some of them might be pissy because you scored this interview, hah!
R: You stayed with Daniel Majstorovic [plays for Athens FC] in Athens, a couple of days ago. What did you do?
Z: I was there with Helena, had a two days vacation. It was nice, hanging out again. We're old team mates from MFF, we get along great.
R: What were you guys doing?
Z: We stayed at his place. He's got it good, I've got to say. We had a barbecue and just enjoyed each other's company. It was nice to get away with Helena, too.
R: Can you do that, go get some beers with a friend?
Z: Of course I can, in places where we're not as recognized.
R: Yeah, but I was thinking about the beer. Would you dare to get slightly tipsy in a bar?
Z: Of course I dare to. I can do whatever I want. But I wouldn't go out to a public place with a friend and get myself drunk. I enjoy keeping a low profile.
R: Right. Low profile...
Z: He, he, he.
R: Speaking of alcohol. What's the deal with Adriano, really?
Z: I like Adriano a lot. He's a great player, when he's playing. Great person, too. The kindest person you could imagine. But something's just not there, I don't think he knows his own mind, even now. There's been problems that really shouldn't have been problems. We all of us tried to help him, but then he just didn't return from that NT gathering. We still don't know what that was about.
R: How did you try to help him?
Z: In a number of ways, but it's the whole deal with wanting to help yourself first. Or it doesn't work.
R: It's unusual, players at that level with alcohol problems. If that's all there was?
Z: It's a pity. But there you go, it's not necessarily fun and games, at the top level. It isn't easy.
R: How are things with him, these days? When did you last talk to him?
Z: The last day he was here, before he went with the national team. But these days we don't talk on the phone.

*

On the national team:
R: How will we defeat the Danes [in the WC qualifier in Stockholm on the 6th of June]?
Z: By just playing our game. We've got the home ground. We should just go in there and play. I'm sure Lagerbäck has put together a plan, it'll work.
R: What's your thoughts on Denmark as a team?
Z: For sure, it's a though game, like a derby. But it shouldn't be easy, getting to the World Cup.
R: What do you say to playing with Henke once more? Do you consider him an old man, now?
Z: Hah. Nah, Henke is a phenomenon. 37 years old and still playing games at a high level. He's got an amazing physique. I bow down to him.
R: Can you tell he's getting older, is he still there, the whole game?
Z: Naej, but you know, all he ever had to do was to run straight on and then get the ball...haha!
R: Is that how you'll do it this match; 'you just run, old man, I'll get you the balls'?
Z: Kidding aside. We talk a lot, and try different things. Try to be aware of each other out on the field. We know what we're doing, we've done it before.
R: What do you say about his new floorball career?
Z: Right, I suppose he enjoys the exercise...I'm sure, though, if he hadn't been a footballer he would have excelled in some other sport. He's wicked at tennis, too. He just adapts, this sports chameleon.
(...)
R: Is there anything that needs changing about the NT tactics?
Z: Huh, changing... Lets say it like this: we play less than fantastic in Inter, I can say that straight up. We just win. We don't play samba fotboll ["o jogo bonito"] in Sweden, but a lot of the times we do what it takes. It's hard for me to point to something that needs to change in the NT. We should just keep on. We do what the coach tells us to, and it does work. You shouldn't change things that work.
R: If you could choose, how would we play?
Z: Oh, if I could choose we'd play like Brazil, like Barcelona. But we've got to adapt, we haven't got eleven world class players.
R: What's the difference between Barcelona and Sweden?
Z: Well, I can say that I think the football Barcelona plays right now is the football most teams will be playing in 2015. In 5 years people will have adapted to it.
R: What makes you think their football is the football of the future?
Z: All of it...I don't quite know what you want me to say. You could try to take the ball from them, how about that? They just do everything right. Guardiola seems like he knows what he's doing. Like, really knows what he's doing.
R: What people are saying about the NT at the moment is that we ought to keep the ball on the ground instead of going with these long balls. What...
Z: Naej, that's just one of these things people love to harp on about. You know, they go out after the game and they go "if only they'd kept it on the ground", but then there's lots of goals that we get from a long ball. Talking is just too easy.
R: But you knew that. That's a national sport, playing the coach of one's national team.
Z: Right, everyone's got their opinion and they have the right to express it and that's part of it all. But the players know whether we need long balls or not, I can promise you that. Oh, and the studio experts that wouldn't know how to keep the ball in the air for ten seconds, they don't know, for that matter.
(...)
R: You'll play in the World Cup in South Africa in 2010 if all goes according to plan. But will that be your last tournament? Or will you be there, in Brazil, in 2014? 32 years old?
Z: Gotta think about that, now. I've got a contract that lasts until...2013. 2014, I don't know. My contract will have run out.
R: Now, we probably needn't worry about that particular part. But can you see yourself in the WC, at 32?
Z: Right, I'll keep playing for as long as I feel fit. The day I can't give my all, I'll stop. I wouldn't want to feel like Zlatan is on the pitch because of his name. As long as I deliver I expect to be kept on the pitch. The day that's no longer the case I'll kick myself out. I won't be one of those people that live off their name.

*

On Malmö FF:
R: Will you follow the U21 team this summer?
Z: No, I don't get their matches, but I heard they're good. I follow MFF, though. I've watched 7 or 8 of the 10 games they've played so far. By satellite.
R: I heard that, that you got upset one time when you couldn't get it to work the night when they were playing so you climbed the roof to try to fix it.
Z: Yeah, yeah. Well, I did do that.
R: You know that's a great mental picture. Zlatan frantically taking apart his satellite dish up on his roof in Milan to get the MFF game.
Z: But, you know, if I come back - I don't know yet, but if I do - I want to know what's been going on. They play well now. They just lack the results. They haven't got the right mentality, they haven't got enough balls! Losing just shouldn't be acceptable! But that's the leaders in the team, that need to get that part to work.
R: You're still sure you won't play in MFF again?
Z: Yes, I won't play. If I get back I want to do what's best for the club. That is, make them the best team in Sweden, which is what they should be. I knew of nothing else, before. To see some other team win the Swedish league, instead of MFF, I can't be having with that. But if I come back some people need to go.
R: A story about you that keeps popping up is that you orginally wanted to play for the Bosnian national team. Is that true?
Z: I'll tell you, once and for all: I never wanted to play for Bosnia and I never was in a position to do so. It was always Sweden. Basta!
(...)

*

On family:
R: You seem to combine everything a footballer needs to succeed. Tall frame, lightening quick, the ability to read the game. But lately, your developement seems to have been largely on the mental plane. Do you agree?
Z: Yes, perhaps. I always wanted to win - that's an important part of my mentality and it was always there. But I'm calmer now. Then again, a lot of people told me when I was younger that I wouldn't get anywhere with the kind of attitude I had. But where are those people now and where am I? I've silenced a lot of people from years past, by now. And I do care about that.
R: Has Helena got anything to do with your developement?
Z: She's been very important to me. We've got a balance now. Not just as far as I'm concerned - in the family I'm one out of several, and that's important.
R: I talked to Helena a bit, before you came. She, rather bitingly, described her life at the moment as organizing the coexistence of two kids and a dog with a football player. Such work will take its toll. What do you do to make it worthwhile?
Z: Helena brings the peace and quiet. I try to make everyone happy. We'll travel together, we'll go out and look about us a bit, we enjoy staying at the house in Malmö.
R: Do you ever play ball with Maximilian?
Z: Yeah, we'll kick it about. It's hard to say if he'll get interested in the game or not, but he does know how to kick a ball. He dives a lot, though.
R: He dives?
Z: Yeah, they taught him, like at kindergarten. They'll ask him what his daddy does at work, and he'll dive and roll around on the floor. They taught him to do that! So now I'll have to teach him what daddy actually does when he's working.
R: Has he got your temper?
Z: Nahhh...or, well, he gets a bit wild sometimes. There's some Zlatan in him, I guess you could say.
R: I asked Helena about how you take care of yourself, and she said you're never on any diet, you just walk around the house eating cookies and candy all day long. But your body, I mean, it's like it's carved out of a block of granite. Don't you have to look after it at all?
Z: Nah. I'll eat whatever is there. They complain about that all the time at the club, that I can eat anything. I don't know why, it's just metabolism. Or luck.
R: And now you've gotten a dog, too?
Z: We've always had him. A French bulldog. He's great. He doesn't bother us, we don't bother him. The kids play with him. Well, it goes too far sometimes, they try to ride around on him, he's too nice. Yeah, I enjoy having a dog.

*

On the future:
R: My last set of questions comes in the shape of an attack. Lets start with this: Have you started practising your Spanish, yet?
Z: Nah. Haha. Don't need it, here in Italy.
R: I see. Somewhat more straightforward, then: Where would you most of all like to play, next season?
Z: That's a tough one. I could see myself playing almost everywhere.
R: I should think Spanish football would suit you.
Z: I would be flattered if you thought that.
R: Will you ever win Champions' League with Inter?
Z: If I didn't I wouldn't consider it a failure. It would be something, to win it, it would. If I could win it with Inter? Absolutely.
R: Would it factor into the decision, if you go to another club, its chances of winning the CL?
Z: I told you before, I'm not the type of player to stay in one club my whole career. It is a challenge, after all, winning in a new environment.

***

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 21:48:22 GMT

So! The Eurovision Song Contest is coming up, and Sweden, fed up with getting the last spot every year with a beautiful and perfect pop-song-composed-to-sound-exactly-like-ABBA, will this time send Malena Ernman, our reknown mezzo sopran. She'll be singing a far-out tune surrounded by dancing men in diamond masks, so there!

Anyways, Malena first entered the Swedish consciousness when she performed parts of the Habanera from Bizet's opera Carmen at the Sports Gala, with lyrics that consisted of classic supporter's chants. I just felt like posting it here, for two reasons: 1, she's pretty lovely, 2: Zlatan's adorable smile when she sings "I love you, Ich liebe dich, Zlatan Ibrahimovic". Compare it with former NHL star Peter "Foppa" Forsberg and his completely clueless stone face and weep. Other highlights: at 2.03 when she starts chanting "We hate, hate, hate Gothenburg!" followed by "The referee brews his own!" and the choir's "Fuck the referee! Fuck the referee!", and then the crescendo with the Hammarby club chant ("Bajen, beer and chicks that shave!") followed by "Henke Larsson! He blows! He blows in Helsingborg!"

<3

Zlatan's been in a friendly mood (read: whipped by Nike) recently and granted both Gazetta dello Sport's Sport Week and Swedish Expressen interviews. In Sport Week he answered the question about what his "favourite traits" in women are ("kindness and that they don't care what other people think") and about how getting badly treated by the coach, well, works. I've translated the Swedish interview, because it's a bit cute:

***

I MISS SWEDEN

He hasn't gotten a lot of sleep. The day before we get together, a worn-out Zlatan Ibrahimovic was on the bench as Inter played 3-3 against Roma. When he got back home he couldn't sleep. That's usually the case, nights after a game. He'll lie down and give it a try. Thoughts crowd his head. After about an hour he gives up, leaves the bed. He'll slink around the house, go online, watch a movie. Try to steer his tall frame carefully, so as not to wake the family.
"I know Henke does it too. You keep going through things in you mind, you're tossing and turning, you get back up... It just won't come."
Despite the lack of sleep he's in a very charming mood. If he thinks being interviewed is a cross, he's hiding it well. He'll make jokes, politely returns some of my questions, answers sincerely. At one point I ask him about his coaches. I utter the words "José Mourinho" and Zlatan just cracks up.

"You laugh when I mention him?"
"Yeah, hah. Mourinho, he's - how do I put this... He's pretty exciting. There he is."
I turn his the direction Zlatan is pointing, and sure enough, there he comes, walking past, in all his handsome Portuguese glory. A lot shorter than I imagined him.
"Won't you get him to come over?"
Zlatan is still laughing to himself. But he shakes his head.
"Not unless I know what mood he happens to be in."

Just as Björn Borg, Zlatan's been a celebrity his whole adult life. How does that affect him? For someone with nothing to compare with, it's a hard question to answer.
"Do you sometimes wish you were just anyone?"
"For sure. I will want to just go out and .... or, go to Sweden and just hang around town with no one to say anything or point or stare. No one to recognize me at all. You wish it, but life isn't like that, so you have to adjust."

"Do you remember the first time you saw your name in the paper?"
"It must have been after Skåne Cup. I scored. They'd put, like, "Zlatan, 3 goals" in the text. But the first article about me was called 'A diamond in the rough', I think."
"That was the headline?"
"Yes. It was the second league, against Frölunda. That's when I made my debute with MFF. No, wait! It must have been the Swedish League. That fall, when we lost out. I think the article was in Sydsvenskan... or maybe Arbetet ["The Worker"], Malmö still had that paper back then, d'you remember Arbetet? You should ask my dad about it. He collects everything. He's got an archive."

"So what's it like at home? Has your son inherited your talent"
"I don't know. He's got talent for chaos, that's for sure." *starts laughing*
"I wonder where he got that..."
"Right, from Helena. Nah, I guess he's like me. That's okay. He's active, I'll call it that. And the other one has started to get in on it, as well."
"Do they play together?"
"Vincent tries to approach Maxi, but Maxi fights him over every toy he's got. I think that's great, let them fight for some things."

What do you think, dear reader, too much talk of children and not enough of football in this interview? My apologise, if that's the case. But it's a deliberate choice, not to keep going on and on about dribbles, the Scudetto and the world's greatest player. I met Zlatan about a year ago in Appiano Gentile and asked questions like that. I got great answers, but I still could have written most of them myself. It's just no surprise, that Zlatan dreams of the CL trophy. I'm simply not too curious about Zlatan's thoughts on the Serie A finals. But I'm dying to know if he'll switch on to the Swedish State Channel on Saturday to watch the Eurovision final.
He won't.

"Helena will, though! She actually watches it. And then she'll want to update you. 'Right, he made it through', even though I don't know who she's talking about."
"But do you follow the Swedish news?"
"Yes, you have to do that. I watch Swedish television. You need to keep yourself updated on the country you're from, or you'll get rootless. Sweden's the country I represent."
"What do you miss about it?"
Someone calls out from the other side of the room. This time it's not José Mourinho but Marco Branca. Zlatan jokes with him in Italian.
"That's the Inter director, you recognise him?"
"Yes. How many languages do you speek?"
"Uh, Swedish, English, Bosnian, Italian, a little Dutch. Five. That's alright."
"I speak two".
"Funkar det åsså. [Waaaaah that's like the cutest skånska ever. The correct Swedish expression would be "Det fungerar också", which means "That works just as well".] But what were we talking about? Right, Sweden. I miss life in Sweden. The people. And the climate. And the air. The air in Italy feels polluted."
"Did you follow the debate about the way the police acted in Rosengård in december?" [There's been vandalism, and heavy fighting between the police and kids in Rosengård, with some of the police proving to be blatantly rasist.]
"Yes, I read about it. To know what actually happened, you'd have to be there. But what I believe is this: it wasn't necessarily all people from Rosengård who created the chaos. People are attracted to places where there's a stir, and bring their shit with them. And then Rosengård will get the blame. Rosengård isn't, like, the root of all evil, there's trouble everywhere."

"27 years old, now. What's the greatest experience you've had in life?"
"When I got Maxi, and Vincent, that's unbeatable."
"If you mean football-wise, then I have great memories both from the national team and my club teams. I mean, the Euro in Portugal and the things we went through there... that was great. All the emotions. Just to get to feel that."

Then Zlatan tells me his sweetest memory as a footballer. It's from the final game, against Parma, last year. His eyes shine as he talks about it, he uses the present tense, like he's back on the pitch, wet with rain.

"We're on the bench. Inter had gone through the same thing a couple of years back, when Ronaldo played, and they lost the Scudetto to Lazio in the last round. That it could happen again, it was like a nightmare. I'm on the bench and I'm fine, I wasn't around then, so it's not on my mind. But the others have and they're so quiet. They won't look at each other. And we hear Roma is up 1-0, so we're second in the league. They're all 'It can't happen, not the same way'. I just want to come on, and then I get to. I score, and the whole bench runs into the field. Not just players, the massage guys, the guys from the storage room, just....

Zlatan looks at me, back in the present.

"Maybe that was it, but I got that."

I have about a million questions more to go. But the seconds are up. The twenty minutes are over. I'm so desperate about the fact a childhood memory comes back to me.
My friend's got a bag of candy. I don't. He gives me one, sprinkled with salt from the liquorice pieces. It's lovely, nothing's quite like the candy someone gives to you. I instantly want more. But the bag is closed, and I won't get any.
That's the way I'm feeling now.

"I could sit here all day. But maybe we can do it again?"
"Sure, sure. You take care, now."

***

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 15:02:59 GMT

Since I'm writing a paper due in just a couple of days, naturally I'm taking a break to do a really rather random Zlatan post.

1. Aftonbladet did a story yesterday on how Zlatan uses the Swedish push-up underwear Frigo during matches. According to its creator, well, it was invented for men who needed extra room and sturdier support to keep everything in place while working out. For some reason, Zlatan apparently freaked out when he read the article (because he does keep himself up-to-date, down in Italy) and called Aftonbladet up on his cell phone, demanding they'd take the article down. Aftonbladet, terrified they were losing Zlatan again so soon, promptly wrote another story denying he used Frigo, which caused the miffed marketing exec to post pictures were he can clearly be seen in them, and blamed Zlatan's action on his sponsor Nike. Oh, well!

Pictures of Zlatan in push-up:

(This is how it, heh, looks.)

2. Since no pictures have surfaced from any Christmas beach vacation this year, here are some from last year of Zlatan lounging by a pool:

3. And lastly, here are some old pics from Zlatan and Helena's Paris weekend trip this autumn (note Helena's...boots):

ETA:

Just adding some recent pics for anyone who isn't regularly checking the absolutely lovely site Zlatan Ibrahimovc Fanclub.

4. Vincent's first public appearance, in the company of Helena Seger and Maximilian and in the arms of Zlatan's press agent Dick Landgren:

And here is Maximilian pulling the ears of Dick, thus continuing the tradition of harrassing him once introduced by his father:

5. Also, a clear shot of the new tattoo. I really don't feel this one.

So am ending with a random good hair no tattoos pic:

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 22:38:47 GMT

So, as posted yesterday, Zlatan finally agreed to an interview with Aftonbladet (it's tradition for them to interview the Golden Ball winner, and he was the first player ever to get to three), and the result is a gem. I've translated some of the highlights, but the whole thing (4 pages!) is just lovely.

(You can read about his war with Aftonbladet at # 14 and 23 in this post, as well as in the prologue to it. The reason it's apparently over now is because the new editor wrote him a letter and told him to get over himself.)

***

Reporter: "The women I know are all impressed with the fact that you're living with Helena Seger, a woman more than 10 years your senior and an independent woman with her own career."

Zlatan: "Haha, they're impressed with her for standing me, you mean? At this point we've known each other for about 7-8 years, that's quite some time. It's felt right all along. She's gotten to know me, she understands what I'm about. I've gotten to know her, I understand what she's about. And she isn't fazed by my job, she knows I'll have to stay away a lot. She knows how it works.

We talk a lot. She'll tell me her ideas on all these issues. She's so fucking smart, she's so intelligent. I don't mean to brag about her, but she just is. And she's wicked in the kitchen. Okay, I'll brag about that."

***

ON SWEDISH PLAYERS:

R: "Who do you think is the greatest Swedish player in history?"
Z. "Can I say me...? Nah, kidding. Although I think might be getting there. But going further back...what were their names, Nordahl and..."

R: "Grenoli?"
Z: "Right. I'm a bit too young to know what they were about, them and the players of that generation. If we don't got that far back, it's me and Henrik Larsson that've dominated, and stayed close to the top for a while. It's one thing to reach the top, and another and much more difficult thing to stay there. There's really only been me and Henke. I'm not trying to sound cocky, I'm just..."

R: "No, no. False modesty, that's not very Zlatan-ish. Tell it like it is!"
Z: "Haha. Right. But Henke is older and more experienced, he deserves my respect. He is probably one of our greatest players ever."

ON FRIENDS AND FREE TIME:

R: "Your life is extreme in a lot of ways. I read an article on the players in the Italian League, where 64 percent admits to anxiety attacks due to the pressure and control they're kept under. They lose contact with their friends and so on. Have you felt anything like that?"
Z: "Well, it's a lot like you describe it. There's so much going on that you don't have that much time left. You're away and then you come back to all these missed calls. You get into this rhytm. Football and family. Because I've got a family now, I don't have a lot of time for anything else. And sometimes I forget to stay in touch with some people, even though I don't want to. But I've got a rhytm going that I don't want to break, you so easily lose your balance. But anxiety... Well, no, but I miss just being out on town, with no one to recognize me. Just walking down the street, do whatever the fuck I want. While my career was just getting started I could still go out with my friends and just hang out. Now, when I go out I represent something, my club, my country. You're always considering that. Which makes it less fun."

R: "Do you stay in touch with your old friends?"
Z: "With as many as I can. I've realized who my friends are. You learn pretty quickly. I know it very well."

R: "Is that important to you? To separate real friends from the rest?"
Z: "It is important to me to have great people around me. I can't be having it with any bullshit, it affects my football. And the way you're feeling outside of the field, that's how you'll perform on it. So you need to hang out with the kind of people that want you to be happy and like you for who you are. That's the way I see it and it's helped me get to where I am today. Drama, that's a downer. I don't need that. I've only got this one thing and I need to go with it. You know, without my job, what would I have done? I've got my rhytm and I need to go with it. So it'll take time before I call back. Real friends understand that."

R: "That's an interesting question. What would you have done if you hadn't been Zlatan?"
Z: "Exactly. What would I? Zlatan asks himself that question, too. Hehe. I don't know what I would have done."

ON MOURINIHO:

R: "You've said before that you've learnt a lot from the Inter coach José Mourinho. Like what?"
Z: "The way he analyzes the games. The possible outcomes. He always feels prepared. That's the main thing he's taught me, to be prepared, for whatever's coming."

R: "That sounds like a new side of you. We know you can work magic with a ball. This interest in tactics and preparation feels like something that's increased. Is that right?"
Z: "Well, you play enough games, you start to recognize the scenarios that keep repeating themselves. They are there for you to learn from.
Mourinho really is in control. I've never seen anything like it. If we're down, he'll do anything for us to win. The match is 0-0, he'll bring in five attackers. He wants to score. And for you to score, you need...I'll say it like they say it in Italy...två stora pungkulor ("a pair of large testicles"). Well, he's got that."

ON LAGERBÄCK:

R: "Lagerbäck, like Mourinho, believes in structure. How does he hold up?"
Z: "He's the thinking coach. He's not the aggressive kind, that will march into the dressing room all fired up. He's always thinking two, three steps ahead. That's what's made him so successful as a national coach."

R: "Do you see eye to eye on things, you and Lagerbäck?"
Z: "Yeah. The only thing was that thing in Gothenburg [read about it here]. That wasn't about football, that was just me being an idiot. But we've moved on. When it comes to football, we pretty much think the same way. I explain what I need in order to do my best. He'll tell me what he expects of me. We complete each other, it works out fine."

ON FAMILY:

R: "What's a regular day in Milan like for you?"
Z: "Regular day...it starts with me driving my kid to kindergarten."

R: "You do that?"
Z: "Yeah. Every morning, I get out of the house at 08.20, and after kindergarten I continue on to practise. I have breakfast and massage. Practise with the team. Sometimes I've got some extra exercise afterwards, and then some treatment. I usually have lunch out at the club, with the other players. It's not required, but I usually do. Sometimes I'll go home to have lunch with the family, but Maxi gets picked up from kindergarten at one o'clock, so nowadays we don't really have the time to cook a proper lunch. So I'll go home after lunch so I don't add to any stress at home."

R: "It sounds like regular family living."
Z: "Well, yes. I'll come home in the afternoon and be with my kids. You know, do everything you do as a parent."

R: "You had your second son, Vincent, this spring. What are you like as a dad?"
Z: "It's not an easy task. It's such a responsibility. Now we've got two it means a lot more work. You lose a lot of freedom, but that's the point of having kids. I mean, they're suppose to take it all away. My kids are like any kids. They need attention. We try to do a lot of different things with them."

R: "Your oldest son Maximilian is two years old. Does he know that you're Zlatan Ibrahimovic?"
Z: "Nah. But when there's football on the TV, Maxi'll go 'Pappa, pappa!' ('Daddy, daddy!') He knows that's what I do."

R: "The women I know are all impressed with the fact that you're living with Helena Seger, a woman more than 10 years your senior and an independent woman with her own career."
Z: "Haha, they're impressed with her for standing me, you mean? At this point we've known each other for about 7-8 years, that's quite some time. It's felt right all along. She's gotten to know me, she understands what I'm about. I've gotten to know her, I understand what she's about. And she isn't fazed by my job, she knows I'll have to stay away a lot. She knows how it works.
We talk a lot. She'll tell me her ideas on all these issues. She's so fucking smart, she's so intelligent. I don't mean to brag about her, but she just is. And she's wicked in the kitchen. Okay, I'll brag about that."

R: "What does she cook?"
Z: "Anything. We'll search for a recipe online and then she'll just do it, and it's always fantastic."

R: "So you cook together, is that your thing?"
Z: "No, I don't have the skills. But Maxi is learning. The little one hasn't quite gotten to that point yet."

R: "How did you meet Helena?"
Z: "We met in Malmö. I saw her once, out on the town, during the day. I kept trying to get in touch with her, and then finally I got her number. And then it sort of escalated. We started living together when I moved to Turin."

ON MALMÖ FF:

R: "What's MFF doing wrong at the moment?" [They're slowly slipping out of the Swedish League.]
Z: "Too much business. It's gotten them on the wrong track. What's positive is that they've got some money, they could make it work. The bad part is that they aren't taking care of the juniors. The money seems to have gotten to them, they should have kept up with their old philosophy."

R: "But the new arena..."
Z. "That's great! I just don't understand why they didn't make it another 10 000 seats, got the UEFA stamp? If you're going out like that, might as well do it all the way. That's how I think, about MFF as well. What were they thinking, that they needed to get big in Malmö? They already are. I mean, make it clear to all the Swedish clubs, to Malmö - we're trying to build something. We're going for something bigger. But we'll get to that when I get home."

R: "Would you like to go back to Malmö after your international career is over?"
Z. "Yeah, I hope I am. I'm in the middle of everything right now so I don't really have a plan. But in the future, that's how I want it to turn out. To play a part, if Malmö FF chooses to go down that road. I remember how it used to be, the other teams used to fear MFF. It wasn't like today, where people are basically making fun of MFF. I'm not talking trash about the club, I want it to succeed.

R: "I can tell. You seem really invested in that club."
Z. "Right. And by now I know what the clubs are like, the clubs that win. MFF has to change the entire system."

R: "Could you consider playing the last years of your career at MFF?"
Z: "No. MFF isn't a club that should rely on homecomers. Wrong thinking. MFF should bring in the kids. I mean, you think I should come back, at 33, and take some 18 years old's place, when he's the future of the game? Nah. Less pleasing the sponsors, and more build-up for the future, that's the way to go for MFF."

ON BEING ZLATAN:

R: "When a person reach your level, they often find that people are trying to make them into symbols. In your case, for Rosengård, immigrants, a certain kind of player, and so on. Do you like that, or do you get sick of it sometimes, and want to be just Zlatan again?"
Z: "I am Zlatan. Even when I'm representing Rosengård, Inter or Sweden, I'm still Zlatan. I'm still the same person I was ten years ago, or two, or and hour ago. That hasn't changed. I've been the same person ever since the day I discovered I could make it as a football player."

R "When was that?"
Z: "When I was 17 I realised that there might be possible to make something out of it."

R: "What did you discover? That you were different from other kids playing football?"
Z: "No, not that. It's just, I got my chance, with that first contract. So I thought, I'll go out there and show everybody. I'll fight against anything. It was more of a decision than a discovery."

***

There's so much more - Zlatan on the football industry, on the importance of media, on captaining Inter, on politics...I might go back and add it later on. But for now I'll desist the spamming.

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 22:02:03 GMT

1. New pic of Maximilian:

2. Some time ago Zlatan was back in Sweden to shoot some footage for his Zlatan Camp, the Malmö football school that the children's sport program "Lilla Sportspegeln" regularly broadcasts from. He was also interviewed by three kids from the camp, and I thought the whole thing was pretty funny, so here's the translation. You can watch it here.

*Zlatan enters. The kids are lined up in a sofa, staring at him.*

Zlatan: "Hi there.
Kids: "Hello."
Z: "Mind if I shake your hand?"
K: "No."
Z: "This is my seat?"
K: "Yes."
Z: "I like your shirts."
K: "Yes."
Z: "...are you guys nervous or what?"
K: "Yes."
Z: "Aw, don't be. Or I'll start too."
Little freckled girl: "Oh, then we won't be nervous at all!"
Z: "Then neither will I." *smiles*
LFG: *with a really thick skånsk accent* "What the most important thing to know as a football player?"
Z: "The most important thing for a football player is probably to be good at everything." *smiles* "Actually, I do think one should strive to perform lots of elements adequately, rather than be a star at just one thing. The more elements you grasp, the better you'll get. But even more important is to believe in yourself."
Little Boy no 1: "Zlatan, what's your favourite goal of all times?"
Z: "Favourite? But I've had so many... *grins* But if I absolutely had to choose, it'd be the one from the last game I played with Ajax, when I dribbled through six - seven - maybe eight defenders. And then, to get to nail it! That was a great feeling. And a great goal. I've got to say that. I mean, have you seen it?"
LB1: "Yeah..."
Z: "So don't you agree?"
LB1: "Yeah..."
Z: *laughs* "That's great."
Little Boy no 2: "Who is your best friend in Inter?"
Z: "I hang out with Maxwell a lot. We played together in Ajax, actually, and then he went to Inter - well, we went at the same time, actually. So it's him."
*dead silence. Zlatan snickers quietly.*
LFG: "Who is the best girl footballer in the world? If you can't say me." *does her best Zlatan grin*
Z: *grins back* Great, you must have been to Zlatan Camp, with that kind of confidence."
LFG: "Yes!"
Z: "Well, I don't get to see a lot of women's football, but I've watched Marta a lot, and she's - well, she would be second best in the world, if you're number one."
LFG: "What does she do, then, that makes her so good?"
Z: "She's the kind of player that you want to - she's attractive. You want to watch her play ball. She's got that extra something. And the way she improvises - as a viewer you feel like anything could happen, and that's, in the end, why you want to watch football. You don't want to see the players that just run around and...I mean, all the players are just as important...but you do want to watch the ones that take it a step further."
LB2: "At which club did you like it the best?"
Z: "I've liked it at all my clubs, I had these experiences at every one to take with me. But I did like it a lot at Ajax. Even though my first year was bad - my second was better, I started getting into it, and my third was fantastic. Everyone was my own age, that's why I enjoyed it so much, it felt like we were the junior squad, all of us 15-20 years. Nowadays I feel really old."
LB2: "How do you get going before a match?"
Z: "How do I...get going? I, ah, I am much the same as ever, I hang out and...like, I don't have any special rituals that I do. I just wait for the match to start. Maybe I'll have some massage, you can have that, for warm-up, but other than that I don't do anything. You can't go around and, like, knock on wood or whatever, three times just so you won't lose your luck. You're too good for luck."
LFG: "Which football player is the best you've ever played with?"
Z: "Oh, with? Huh. Well, there's been lots of good players - world class players - but I'd say Vieira is probably the best."
LB2: "What do you eat before a game?"
Z: "What would that be... Something like, mashed potatoes...and chicken. Or pasta...and chicken. We can't choose just anything, we have to pick from this menue and it's pretty meagre, actually. But it's like, pasta...and chicken. Rice. And afterwards I'll have cookies." *smiles*
LB2: "What of that do you prefer?"
Z: "Well, none of it, actually. I just have to keep eating it. But it's okay."
LB1: "Which was your first club?"
Z: "It was...MBI. Then it was called MBI, now it's called...uh...MABI. So it was like, MBI, Balkan, MBI, Balkan, I kept switching. Then to BK Flak and then to MFF...MFF-Ajax, Juventus, Inter. It's been a long journey in a short amount of time." *smiles*
LFG: "How old were you when you started playing football?"
Z: "I was kicking a ball around when I was pretty small, like five years old. But that's not football, right, that's just playing."
LFG: "But in a team, then?"
Z: "That was when I was seven or eight."
LB2: "Is it hard being a pro, sometimes?"
Z: "Nah. I'm having the thing I love as my profession and I still love it. I get bored if I don't get to play. So that part is never hard, just some of the stuff around it. But a football career is so short - just 10 years - and for 10 years you should be able to deal with the parts that aren't as fun." *grins*
LB1: "What are your thoughts when you're up against the goal keeper?"
Z: "You know, lately I've been thinking a lot, when that's happened. That's why I miss. The less you think, the better, and try to finish as soon as possible. That's my advise, for what it's worth. But you should try out different solutions, see what works for you."
LB2: "Do you want you kids to start playing football?"
Z: "I don't know, actually. I think it's enough with one star in the family. They can try out some other sport. Like tennis, I don't know. Sure, they can play football, but since they can't be second best, and there's already one legend in the family..." *cracks up*
Kids: *nervous laugh*
Z: "Then again, they would learn from the best."

*cut to the little freckled girl talking to the camera* "The whole time, we just felt so...happy. It's like you don't want him to ever leave you."

*cut to Zlatan signing footballs*
Z: What are your positions?"
LB1: "Midfielder."
LB2: "Forward."
LFG: "Central defender."
Z: "Oj, oj, oj, central defender. So you're the one they have to go through."
LFG: "Yeah!" *grins*
Z: "Nice. And you are all of you the best player in your team?"
LB2: "I'm the best on my position."
Z: "You mean the best in the entire team, of course."
LB2: "But can you really compare a forward and a defender?"
Z: "But the forward gets to score! Do you score a lot? More than me?"
LB2: "I don't know.."
Z: "But I don't score a lot of goals."
LFG: "But they're nice, though..."
Z: "Yeah...sometimes they are."

*cut to them breaking up. One of the little boys hug him, and the little freckled girl waves. He waves back at her with a grin, and leaves.*

3. There also was a great interview with him in the radio program "Radiosporten" a couple of days ago. Highlights:

R: "What sort of a father are you?"
Z: "I'm a full-time parent. The only time I'm without my kids is when we're away playing, otherwise I'm constantly with them. Maximilian goes to kindergarten, though, but the other one is still too young...but it's just, regular family living."
R: "Do you read bedtime stories to the oldest?"
Z: "Nah. He'll fall asleep in front of cartoons." *snickers*

R: "How interested are you in sports?"
Z: "I, ah, I might watch sports sometimes, but there's nothing I follow religiously.
R: "What other sports do you watch?"
Z: "There are some...I didn't even know what Formel 1 was before I came to Italy, but everyone follows it here, and I've watched some of that. And I watch the big tennis tournaments. Some basketball, some martial arts. Like, I'll watch it if it's on the TV. But there's nothing I follow 24/7."
R: "When was the last time you went and saw anything live?"
Z: "I can't...I don't remember... Right, it was basket. In the US, Miami Heat vs Orlando Magic. That's the latest."
R: "You had to be on vacation to go?"
Z: "Yeah. Pretty much. That was fun though, different."
R: "If you had more free time, would you go?"
Z: "Nah, I don't think so. I'm not the kind of person to go out and go to the arena, I prefer shacking up in front of the TV."

R: "Do you at all understand us journalists, that we keep asking about everything, and write all these analyses?"
Z: "That depends on the country. In Italy, they'll ask about football. In Sweden...well, our population is nine million. We can't reach the level of Spanish, English and Italian football - with all due respect to the Swedish League. But journalists that are used to the great leagues, to interviewing and analyzing world class players, they too are on a different level. The Swedish journalists will try to copy that, but it just ends up looking sad."
R: "You mean they aren't used to quality?"
Z: "They aren't - no, I didn't say quality, they just aren't used to committing to it. You've got to start somewhere, and they'll start with the Swedish League, that hasn't got a single world class player. Right?"
R: "Well...there's Henke."
Z: "Right. Yeah. If we'd have to pick one. But in Italy, they're used to people taking what they're doing a lot more seriously. That's the difference between them and the Swedish journalists, they are used to interviewing and analyzing players that the world care about."

R: "So, you don't have a lot of time for sports, but how about culture? Milan is such an old, beautiful city, with a lot of museums and churches. Does that interest you?"
Z: "No, not a bit."
R: "So you haven't seen any of that, then?"
Z: "All I know of Milan is the way to the arena and back."
R: "But doesn't that feel awful? I mean, here you are in this wonderful old city, you could discover so much more..."
Z: "I can't really feel awful about missing out on something that doesn't interest me, and the thought of exploring the old parts of Milan really, really doesn't interest me. It's pretty where I live, and sure, I guess I appreciate that. I've been dining out at some places but I can't say I've seen much of the city."
R: "And is that how it usually is when you move to a new city? Because you've lived in a few European cities by now."
Z: "Yes. I'm not interested in the city's culture or heritage. Like, where I move, I'll see the parts where I happen to end up."

R: "Doesn't it feel surreal that you've got so much money now? Don't you feel like you're still just this little boy from Rosengård playing ball, that doesn't know what's hit him?"
Z: "That's a matter of comparing with other players, other contracts, on the same level. I'm not little - I'm 1.95/94 - and my background doesn't play into this. The thing I do, I excell in."

4. Top three favourite quotes out of that interview with L'Equipe from a couple of days ago:

3. On Helena Seger:
"She's helped me enormously. She calms me down, she knows me. I do prefer to hang out with people older than myself."

2. On family:
"Growing up, I was really scared of disappointing my mother. She worked so hard for me and my brothers and sisters to grow up and not miss out on anything. Now that I've got two kids of my own, I've realised what it must have been like for her, raising the lot of us."

1. On faith:
"My father is Muslim, my mother's Catholic. Me, I'm Zlatan, I'm free."

5. Tonight was the annual Football Gala in Sweden, and Zlatan recieved the People's Prize, beating out both Marta and Pia Sundhage (who coached the American Olympic guld medal team, she was predicted to win it). There to present the award was none other than Pelé, visiting Stockholm for a ceremony honouring the WC58 Sweden-Brazil final where he got his breakthrough. Zlatan almost banged his head into his own knees, bending over to hug him, and Pelé wished him "all the luck I had as a player". Then later Zlatan got his third Swedish Golden Ball (the first player ever to get to three), and gave a pretty speech ("Three times now, huh. It's getting lonely at the top. I want to thank the players I work with in the national team and my club, as well as the national and club coach, but most of all my family. They're with me all the hours of the day, supporting me and giving me all the love I need. Thank you. And I hope to be back next year to collect my forth.") His straightened hair was flowing freely down his shoulders, and he wore a scarlet handkerchief in his breast pocket that matched Helena Seger's dress. Half gangster, half Oscar Wilde. He was great.

Picspam:

(...coach Lagerbäck.)

And a bonus pic of mr and mrs Larsson because they're cute:

You can see the videos from the Gala here.

ETA: Ohh, and tomorrow, Zlatan is apparently going to grant an interview to the main sponsor of the Football Gala - the news paper Aftonbladet, thus ending his 5 year boycott. How nice.

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 12:45:16 GMT

(Oh, that knee...and old!Henke.)

Sweden played two qualifiers, a 0-0 draw against Albania away and a 2-1 victory against Hungary at home. With most of the squad still injured (Elmander, Linderoth, Svensson, Edman), Lagerbäck introduced a new system, 3-5-2, intended to replace the old 4-4-2 and take advantage of the Swedish strikers. It has yet to take hold, let me tell you that. Despite five midfielders, nothing got through to Zlatan and Henrik Larsson (Zlatan at one point started screaming at the poor defender Petter Hansson, after one too many long balls: "What kind of feeling is this? You have to give me a chance!"). Larsson did manage to set up some attacks, and, well, we'll see how it works out in the end.

On a more cheerful note, here are some assorted notes on Zlatan, from the reporters that followed the NT:

1. Robert Laul, Aftonbladet:

"Before Zlatan arrived at the press conference, there was a cute scene by the sideline. A friend to team physician Magnus Forsblad had brought his little son, a fan of Zlatan - the boy was about a foot tall and, in the end, too shy to come anywhere near him, though his father was trying to get a picture of them. Finally Zlatan simply reached across the fence and scooped the boy up, expertly cuddling him and even directing the dad as to how to stand in order to get a clear shot. The little boy was positivey beaming by the time he was handed back. Zlatan finished off by ruffling his hair and giving him an autograph."

(He was later asked the following at the PC:
Reporter: "Who was the shy little Inter supporter you were seen with earlier?"
Zlatan: "I don't know, he was one of Mange's crew...")

2.

Ralf Edström, once a beautiful young PSV and Swedish NT player, is now a middle-aged man commentating for the state radio channel. Ever since Zlatan started playing, Edström's been one of his harshest critics, and after the Hungary game he proclaimed that Zlatan had utterly failed everybody's expectations with "a miserable performance". The press painstakingly sought Zlatan out as he was leaving the hotel and asked him what he tought about Edström's comment. "I think he's welcome to work in my garden. That's all he's capable of", Zlatan answered, before leaving for Café Opera with Olof Mellberg.

3.

Christian Wilhelmsson arrived at the national gathering in Stockholm like all the rest, only to get injured on the last day of practise before departure to Tirana. Like in the WC this summer he tore a hamstring, and "his expletive attributives, as it were, echoed in the arena", as one reporter put it. Sport journalist Patrik Ekwall wrote in his blog:

"Overheard from the pitch, to Chippen as he was trashing on the ground, all anger, disappointment and pain: 'Good thing we at least had the time to download that game to you before.'
You get one guess as to who said that."

4.

Before the Albania game Zlatan was interviewed by Patrik Ekwall, and was asked a few questions about Mourinho. I can't say I've heard him sound more dazzled ever before in his career, I think it's quite embarrassing. He was so coherent while he was answering Ekwall's other questions, too.

Reporter: Describe what it's like, working with José Mourinho.
Zlatan: I - it's... I had heard a lot about him before I met him, when he was at Chelsea and all that. But just from TV, I didn't know the person, or what it would really be like having him as a coach. Now I've spent two months with him, and I've got to say I've nothing but praise for him. He's just, amazing. He's - he's got a WICKED relationship with the players. He's really, he gets along really well, with everybody. He's very clear, his way of communicating the things he wants. He...I don't know how to describe it...he knows how to treat his players, no matter what they need. He just knows what he's doing...

Reporter: He seems like the players' coach, but can he maintain distance?
Zlatan: *eagerly* Oh, yes, he's really.... I mean, he's Mourinho on the field and off it, of course he gets respect. He's clear on what he wants. He gives us what he wants. I mean, he wants results. We can joke around and all that, but in the end that's what it's all about. He talks to the team about that a lot - he talks to the players individually as well, but he takes care to go through things with us together, having everyone know exactly where he stands. He's very correct, both as coach and as a person. And when we practise it's just quality. It's a 100 percent, no skoj ("larking about"). He'll come down upon you like that if you're not paying attention, if you're not focusing. He demands concentration and quality, intensity.

Reporter: I have it he's very throughout.
Zlatan: Well, he wants everything to be perfect. In everything he does. I mean, we never do the same thing twice. It's always a new exercise, every practise. And he'll stand around with a timer, noting down his information, so careful.

Reporter: He's said he wants to build a lot of Inter's game around you, how do you notice that?
Zlatan: I don't notice it as such, but sure, when I'm on the field I feel a lot of focus is on me, I have a lot of responsibility. I like that, I can handle that - if we lose a match I will be open about and admit my mistakes, as I will be so involved in most of our attacks. The way we play now, with me in the middle and two players along the wings, and very offensive - yeah, I get a lot of responsiblity. But we have so many good players - we just signed another one two days ago, Ricardo Quaresma, I think he's fantastic. He will bring a lot to the system we're using now. And, well, I talk to Mourinho a lot, I do. But he talks to everyone, not just me. He's very open, he'll tell us what he likes and doesn't like, what to improve. He doesn't miss a thing.

Reporter: He sounds a lot like you.
Zlatan: Nah... *checks himself* It's like I said at the PC, I think we'll work out fine. We have, so far. We both of us want to win - I don't even like losing at practise. We both want to win and that's the main thing.

I can't recall an instant where he's had more than a few phrases in praise of Capello, Mancini or Lagerbäck (he wouldn't say as much for Koeman, obviously, although he might go on for quite a while if you asked him about Beenhakker). Aww?

ETA: From an Aftonbladet article about the CL game yesterday, when Zlatan got a hug from Mourinho after assisting the 2-0 goal:

"There was a lot of relief. And a lot of love. On the way out to the dressing rooms after the match, José Mourinho ran up to Zlatan and put his arm around his waist. And again, in front of the team bus, they were seen giving each other high-fives. A Special relationship is underway."

5.

There was a friendly against France some time before the qualifier against Albania, and Lagerbäck wanted Zlatan to play in it. Mourinho, emphatically, dit not want it, and let him know beforehand, in so many words. Since Lagerbäck was insistent, Zlatan proceeded thus: he went to Sweden, practised at the training open to journalists, had a great press conference, and the day after declared his knee was not to be overstrained, and went back to Milano. You could say Lagerbäck's face was saved (I can't imagined how he would have managed to stand up to Mourinho), and all would probably have been well, had not a Swedish journalist managed to get into the closed practise with Inter on the day of the France friendly, and witnessed Zlatan play a practise game of about one hour (seemingly without pain). The next day it was all over Swedish press, and the indignation kept building until Zlatan came home for practise before the trip to Albania. At the press conference, he just offered his sweetest smile and explained that, especially as heavy rain had been predicted (and happened) on the match day, it was quite a different matter playing a game outside in Stockholm on an autumn day and doing a practise game indoors with Inter. He then flashed another smile, and was quite forgiven. Except the entire Swedish press is now convinced Lagerbäck is whipped by Mourinho, which is probably right.

Mourinho did offer to come up to Sweden after the Hungary qualifier and "have a chat" with Lagerbäck, which Lagerbäck sulkily accepted. Mourinho then changed his mind, and stayed away. He was recently asked why by a Swedish reporter, and answered:

"If you had not been a woman, I would have answered that I am not obliged to discuss my private life with you. But since a bit more politeness is required of me, I will tell you. I did not go because my ambition was to bring the player with me as soon as the match ended, but the player told me he would prefer to delay his return till the following day, so that he could accompany his wife and children when they went back to Milano. To promote stability in families is my very great concern, so I allowed him this favour."

So there you are.

****

ETA: So, the Portugal game at Stockholm this Saturday was a 0-0 draw, and the result bodes well for Denmark. Sweden had about half of its usual line-up injured (Zlatan: "I don't know what's happened, it's like everybody ran into black cats"), and among them was Henrik Larsson, which meant two things: Sweden had to play the just recovered Johan Elmander, who missed the goal at least three times, and Zlatan was announced team captain. After the game, he and the Portuguese captain (a certain C. Ronaldo) decided the occasion demanded shirtless hugs.

Actually this update is just an excuse to show the pics to anyone who might have missed them:

In the last photo you can see Zlatan's new tattoo. It was clearly visible in the live footage after the game, but I still couldn't quite make it out (although it looks like a stupid dragon).

Also, Helena Seger was recently seen at a fashion show in Milano, showing off yet another, well, unbelievable outfit.

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 00:22:51 GMT

Because I can't quite let go yet, here's a post with

Now, the Swedes long ago returned home (sadly predicted in the euroslash presentation), but some vestiges did linger. For one, there was the cattiness towards Zlatan Ibrahimovic that Raphael Van der Vaart continued to randomly display.

Reporter at the Holland press conference before the Russia game: "Are you happy not to have to face Zlatan Ibrahimovic in the quarter finals?"
Van der Vaart: "I don't care. He's a good player, but he's on vacation now, isn't he? Yeah, it's such a pity he's gone already..."

Zlatan/Raphael will always be one of my favourite ships (you can read about them at #36 here), and my heart quite broke when I learnt Van der Vaart won't be going to Juventus this fall. I'll have to make do with Olof Mellberg teaming up with that awful Chiellini to prevent Zlatan from scoring, which admittedly will be quite interesting.

My favourite ship during the Swedish Euros turned out to be Zlatan/Markus Rosenberg (even though Rosenberg does little for me lookwise). They just seemed to get a lot closer during the tournament - and they do speak the same kind of skånsk malmöitiska - and they're pretty cute together:

(Before the official Euro 08 groupshot.)

(During practise.)

(Shopping in Milano with Chippen and Daniel Majstorovic during their day off.)

There was another relationship, though, which delighted me more:

ZLATAN AND THE SWEDISH PRESS

From Zlatan's last press conference before the Euros:

Reporter: José Mourinho is the new Inter coach, any comments?
Zlatan: Oh, it's official, now?
Reporter: No, but...
Zlatan: But they told you? *obnoxious laugh* Well, you are the expert.

From Zlatan's first press conference at the Euros:

Reporter: How does it feel when you enter the training field and all the fans cheer? They don't even do that for Larsson, or Fredrik Ljungberg.
Zlatan: They don't? I didn't notice.
Reporter: But don't you feel you're much more popular?
Zlatan: A lot of that is because of the way you write about me.
Reporter: But you have to admit you contribute some!
Zlatan: So there's the extra pressure. I have to live up to their expectations.
Reporter: How will you unlock the Greek defence?
Zlatan: It's a secret.
Reporter: When will you tell us?
Zlatan: We won't, you'll see during the 90 minutes.
Robert Laul from Aftonbladet: Zlatan, as the Euros are about to begin I was wondering...
Zlatan: *eyes glazing over* I don't speak to Aftonbladet.
*uncomfortable silence among the journalists. Finally another reporter asks a question and Zlatan gives him a pleasant answer.*

From an interview by Patrick Ekwall:

Ekwall: You think, looking back, you maybe shouldn't have played in the WC 06?
Zlatan: I would have done it differently. As a player, when you get to a tournament, you just want the chance to play, you'll feel like you're a 100 %. You don't care about injuries or anything. But there'll be consequences, like I had to have surgery afterwards, for my thigh. If a player isn't fit he shouldn't play, and I had to deal with the consequences.
Ekwall: So you mean you shouldn't have played at all?
Zlatan: I would have done it like I did this time. I should have been more careful, but I just kept on playing. Even though I was in pain. But that was my own decision.
Ekwall: So you mean...
Zlatan: *laughs* Now you're just trying to dig something up. I can see the headlines... *mock types in the air (with long, slender fingers)*
Ekwall: No, I'm just saying, you did things differently this time.
Zlatan: Yeah, I learnt my lesson.

Reporter: Have you spoken to Mourinho yet?
Zlatan: Yes, on the phone.
Reporter: And what did the two of you talk about?
Zlatan: *grins* I'm not telling you.

Apropos of Zlatan's relationships, here's some recent Helena Seger pics.

From the Euros:

And one from her Midsummer celebrations in Stockholm (with, among others, Olof Mellberg):

Also, in case someone missed it, here's a cute pic of Maximilian being eyed by Materazzi jr (to the left):

I'd also like to cast a wistful glance ahead, at the WC 10 qualifications. After Sweden was defeated by Russia, coach Lagerbäck was heavily critized for bringing such an old squad to the tournament (Sebastian Larsson was the way youngest, at 23, pretty much the average age of the quick-footed Russians). For the qualifications this fall, he'll need to start bringing in the younger players, especially since Markus Allbäck and Niclas Alexandersson, among others, are leaving the NT (Henrik Larsson will stay on to offer moral support). This means we'll see more of new midfielder Sebastian Larsson (Birmingham):

(picspam here)

Newest forward Marcus Berg (FC Groningen)

And the two defenders Martin Olsson (Blackburn):

And Per Nilsson (who by his move to the Bundesliga is predicted to be selected for the WC qualifications at least by next year):

There will also be Elmander, Rosenberg (unfortunately, as his NT performance has been continously poor), Källström, Isaksson and Mellberg. Sweden is in the same group as Portugal, Denmark, Hungary, Albania and Malta, and the papers are predicting that the second place in the group, after Portugal, will be got by either Sweden or Denmark. Now, Denmark is a very pretty team, but I'd still say we top them, yay! They do play better than we do, unfortunately, but I will endeavour to hope for the best.

Finally, aside from the WC 10 qualifications, to the Swedish fans there's also the Italian League. Less known than Olof Mellberg's move to Juventus is that of his young countryman Albin Ekdal, 18, who will follow him to Torino this fall to light up the industrial city with his slutty good looks (also hopefully make the NT before his 25th birthday). Small picspam:

And now, back to the Euros!

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 14:01:31 GMT

PART III
Part I here.
Part II here.

*more footage of the Nike commercial shooting. Zlatan gets up against the pretty Sebastian Larsson (ETA: picspam here), the up and coming Swedish midfielder who is doing his first championship this summer*

N: *to Zlatan and Sebastian afterwards* So, what about the Euros? Are we winning it?
Z: Well, everyone has the chance to win it. I’ve always said that. But we need for everything to work out right. Everyone need to be in shape, everything just need to work out. But now we’ve got Sebbe here, so...
S: *embarrassed smile*
Z: He’ll take us all the way. *grins*
N: You’re smiling, Sebbe?
S: What can I say? It will be a lot of fun, though, playing with the best Swedish players...
N: Has Zlatan been a rolemodel to you?
S: Yeah, of course. That’s your dream, winning the titles, like he did yesterday, and it’s just great getting to play with him.
N: The opponents will be studying you especially, Zlatan...what are your thoughts on that?
Z: That’s okay. I’ll just go there and play my game. Spend time with my teammates, on and off the pitch. It’ll be fun.
N: *to Sebastian* Good luck, then, with your debute. You show them!
S: *blushes* Thank you. I will.

*cut to the Hummer*

N: If you hadn’t become a professional football player, what would you have worked with?
Z: I don’t know. My dad wanted me to be a lawer but I have a hard time seeing that...
N: Have you ever actually had a job?
Z: I’ve been practising at various places, through school. Baker, porter...
N: Baker? *laughs*
Z: Stuff like that. But that was just because school made me, I didn’t know, myself. I was a bit of a troublemaker, in school too, I couldn’t sit still...I mean, I did have 3,2 when I graduated [that would mean he passed all his subjects, a couple of them with honours, actually] It’s not bad – in Rosengård it’s really good. *laughs*
DL: We’re approaching [Zlatan’s house].
N: But this will be “uptown” Malmö?
Z: We bought the house because we thought it was beautiful. And it was big. You don’t get big houses like these in Rosengård. We looked in Malmö for three years. And there was always that one house that we’d drive by and just say, you know, man, to get to live there...
N: Why that house?
Z: It’s the first house on the beach promenade! Imagine waking up there every morning! So one day we knocked on the door and bought it.
N: You approached the people living there?
Z: We invited ourselves for coffee.
N: Was it for sale, at the time?
Z: No... But I...paid what they wanted.

They approach the house and the construction site.

N: So these are your workers.
Z: These are my workers. Though they never work. They just have coffee.

They walk up to the house. The last part of the road is pretty steep.

Z: Are you okay? Do you want me to help you?
N: I think I can make it.
Z: *offers his hand, which Nyberg nevertheless takes* But I'm a gentleman!
N: *giggles like a schoolgirl*

Z: So this is the back yard...right, we've got a small swimming pool.
N: But deep!
Z: It's just so I'll fit.
N: *laughs*
Z: This isn’t an investment or anything like that, this is where I’ll live. I want my home to be...maxat ["great"].
N: But the contrasts! We got here from Rosengård! How does that feel?
Z: Well. You can take the guy out of Rosengård, but you can’t take Rosengård out of him. I’m still the same, I just live here.

They walk up on the balcony.

Z: This is nice, you see everything.
N: But the situation of this house... I mean, everyone know this is your house, they can pass by...
Z: I want everyone to know where Zlatan lives! *laughs* Seriously, eventually it gets out where you live. People get there, to have a look... I get it that they're curious. You'll see them on the street, looking up at the house, taking pictures.
N: But do you even like it? A little bit?
Z: *shrugs* It doesn’t bother me.
N: Do you think about it sometimes, what a great life you’ve got?
Z: Yes, every day. Mostly because I know it doesn’t necessarily last. I have everything now, but there are lots of things I can lose. And economically, I know what it’s like not to have things. We didn’t have the greatest economy when I grew up. I always remember that. But this house, I just wanted a base, a place for the future. I still think about it every day, that I’m lucky. I just have to make sure I make the best of it.

*cut to the Hummer*

N: After the Scudetto, you told the press, “You talk and I play”.
Z: It’s just I had gotten so much criticism in Italy then. It’s like I said, they’ll talk, all I can do is play.
N: But can you handle criticism?
Z: Well, if they write after a game that I played badly, that’s fine. That’s normal. You will play badly, at times. But when they start connecting it with some of these deeper issues, sometimes you start to wonder what they’re really after. But I waited until I got to play again, and I got to get back at them. *laughs*
N: But that’s the way you handle it, then? You just stop talking to them? Because I know, of course, that there are Swedish papers you haven’t spoken with, for various reasons, for years.
Z: It’s a give and take. If they’re professional, I will be, too. But it’s got to be at a certain level...when it gets to Kalle Anka-nivå [literally “Donald Duck level”, an expression you use to describe something childish], then I won’t play.

They get back to the garage for one last game. A speaker asks if someone in the crowd would like to take Zlatan on, and a mysterious, hooded guy walks up to Zlatan. When he pushes the hood back he’s revealed to be Maxwell, there to participate in the commercial. They go at it, while Nyberg voice-overs that Zlatan always dreamed of playing in Inter as a boy.

N: What are your goals, now?
Z: I want to win Champion’s League. That’s the trophy that’s been missing at home.

*the image of Zlatan in front of the crowd cheering him on after the game slowly fades out*

*end of the third and last part*

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 14:01:13 GMT

PART II

Part I here.
Part III here.

*footage of Malmö. Renée Nyberg picks Zlatan up at his mother’s house in Malmö in a golden Hummer*

Z: *surveys the car* Welcome to Café Opera, huh? [the swankest night club in Stockholm]
N: You are staying at your mother’s place at the moment?
Z: Yeah. While our house gets ready.
N: Was she happy to see you?
Z: Yes, she always is. They don’t get to see me a lot. Except on TV.
N: I like that, that you don’t stay at some suite...
Z: *laughs* We’ve got this small room, me and Helena and Maxi and Vincent and the dog. Though he didn’t get to come this time.
N: But your mother used to live in Rosengård?
Z: She did, but then she thought she would like a little garden, and she liked that house.
N: But you helped her with that?
Z: A little bit. *laughs* Family should always be there. I think of that now I’ve got kids, I try to give them what my parents gave me.
N: And what is that?
Z: Oh, you know, lots of love, a good upbringing, they were always there for me. With football and everything else. It’s important, you’re a lot stronger as a person if you’ve got a family. I grew up with three sisters and two brothers, so that was quite a lot of family...and lots of barnbidrag [monthly child support from the state]. *laughs*

*footage of Rosengård [“Yard of Roses”]*

N: So, this image of Rosengård as a tough neighbourhood...how much truth is there in that?
Z: Well, it got that image, and now...I never saw it as dangerous, and it wasn’t for me. But Rosengård taught me a lot.
N: Like what?
Z: Like confidence, I’ve talked about that before. Out there, you’re on your own, and it’s a lot like Rosengård. ”Who’s the best”, you know, “he is”, “I am”, and it was always like that. You got it in you from the start.

They arrive at the block where Zlatan grew up.

N: We’re not exactly stealth, with this car...
Z: No...well, here we are.
N: Yeah.
N: Is this where the Court is?
Z: Yeah. Is this your first time in Rosengård?
N: Yes, it is.
Z: Well, don’t worry. You’re with me. *giggles*

Z: *points up to one of the top floors* That’s the apartment.
N: And who lived there?
Z: My mum, my big sister and my [half] brother. I lived with my dad, but I would come by every day and hang out with my brother and sister.
N: So you slept at your dad’s, but you hung out here?
Z: *nods*

They walk to the brand-new football court in the middle of the yard.

Z: We used to play here every day, but it was different then, of course, a gravel pitch. But I wanted to do something to the place, and I hope some of the kids succeed the way I did. *checks himself* Of course there are other ways to succeed besides football. But any way they can give Rosengård a better name, you know. So people stop thinking Rosengård is all bad. Except they did steal the “a”. *points to the “Zlatan Court” sign, where one of the golden letters is missing* I knew they would! *chuckles*
N: How much time did you spend on the pitch?
Z: I was here every day. My mum would shout from the balcony when it was time for dinner and I would always be late, and just eat a few bites and leave, to get back here. Yeah, we played here every day.
N: Is it true you told them they’d get 10 kronor [approximately 1 Euro] if they could take the ball from you?
Z: Nah, they got candy. I would have, like, 10 kids chasing me. *smiles*

A man opens a window of the third floor and screams “Congrats to the Scudetto!”.
Z: *waves* Thank you.

Kids start pouring out of the kindergarten next to the Court, surrounding Zlatan. He picks up an adorable kid with a whiteblond afro and the kindergarten teacher starts taking photos with her mobile phone. Then, Zlatan recognize someone in the crowd and lights up. He makes his way over to a small woman in her sixties, bends down and hugs her, saying in a muffled voice: “Hej Maria...”
Maria: Hej...
Z: Are you okay?
Maria: *nods*
Z: This is Maria, she’s taken care of me since I was a kid. She’s my mum’s best friend.
Maria: *tears in her eyes, noticing the camera on her* Oh, don’t film me...
N: You get touched, watching him...
Z: She’s been there from the start. She was our neighbour, she lived on the second floor. *turns to Maria* So everything’s fine?
Maria: *muffled voice* Yes, very. And Maxi is fine?
Z: Yes, yes. But did you know... *inaudible* He's such a little rascal.
Maria: *nods and gestures towards the camera* I just came out to meet you. *leaves*
Z: *to her back* I’ll see you later...

*footage of Zlatan waving goodbye to the kids*

The Hummer leaves Rosengård.

N: *in the car* She was sweet, Maria...
Z: She’s taken care of me ever since I was a kid, that’s why she got a bit emotional. She’s always been there. She’s even changed my diapers. *rolls eyes*
N: Lucky Maria... *laughs* Do you change your kids diapers?
Z: Yes, I... *noticing Dick laughing* I do!
DL: I’ve never seen it.
Z: I can’t do it in front of you! I have a rep to protect.

*footage of Zlatan shooting a commercial with Nike inside an old garage, meeting the young, up and coming star in Malmö FF, Labinot Harbuzi, in a “dribble contest” in front of a screaming crowd*

Z: You can tell he’s played in Holland. He’s technical...he has a hell of a technique, to be honest.
N: Is he better than you?
Z: Gah, no! *laughs* Well, you can tell that he likes to play ball.
Harbuzi: *starry-eyed*
N: Will you return to MFF eventually?
Z: Maybe when I’m done with my career.
N: *laughs* When you’re done...
Z: Yeah. Seriously, I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about returning to Malmö and take over MFF. As president. Bengt Madsen would have to move over. Either that, or I'll become a gangster. *laughs*

DL: *in the car* Next stop is Timbuktu [Jason “Timbuktu” Diakite, Swedish rapper and fellow Malmöite]. He wanted to meet you while you were in Malmö.
Z: That’s fine.
N: What kind of music do you listen to?
Z: Its a mix. Everything from reggae to juggemusik [Malmö slang for music from the former Yugoslavia].
DL: Quite a lot of juggemusik...
Z: *laughs*
N: Really? How would you describe it? Croatian...
Z: Croatian, Serbian, Bosnian...lots of instruments. I think it's energizing.

They arrive at Timbuktu’s studio. Zlatan and Timbuktu greet each other.

Timbuktu: Right, then. I wrote a song that I thought would fit you. It’s about people who don’t really look, you know, Swedish...
Z: *grins*
T: And about being yourself...well, I’ll play it.
Z: You know we listen to you in the NT.
T: Really?
Z: To get us fired up before the games.
T: Well, I’m happy I’m a part of your locker room rituals...
Z: *grins* You still live in Malmö?
T: Yeah, just over there...
Z: Right. Malmö, the place to be...
T: Have you had the chance to grab a local falafel yet?
Z: I’ve had the kebab. *grins*
T: Right, from the kebab man at Rosengård... *laughs*

*Timbuktu plays the song. Zlatan listens, smiling, while Timbuktu excitedly comments. Afterwards they keep talking*

Timbuktu: I really was ashamed, for a long while, that my parents couldn’t speak correct Swedish. And that I didn’t look like the other kids. All of that.
Z: Well, sure, I did feel that I had to be better than all the rest. Because of my last name and where I come from. You just had to bring a lot more. *shrugs* Then again, one should get used to working hard. I wouldn’t have been where I am today without working for it. Without fighting.

*cut to Zlatan and the film crew walking off, after Zlatan and Timbuktu say goodbye*

N: Did you like the song?
Z: Yeah. I just got to listen to a part of it, but it’s like with all his songs, he puts quality into it.

Z: *back in the car, talking on his mobile phone* So I’ll see you at the pizza place? Right, bye. Dick, is it okay if my brother come too when we have lunch?
DL: Okay. Let’s go straight away.
Z: That was my kid brother, he wanted to see me. So I thought he could join us. It’s my friend’s place, I always eat there.

They get to the pizza place.

N: So he’s a friend of yours?
Z: Yeah, he’s one of my childhood friends. And he played in Malmö FF too. He makes pizza, I kick a ball around. *laughs*

Inside they meet with Aleksandar, 21 years old and Zlatan’s kid brother. Zlatan introduces Nyberg and pats Aleksandar on the head, whereupon Aleksandar hits him. Then Zlatan introduces Nyberg to Michel, the childhood friend.

Z: This is were we always eat. I always have the same thing.
M: Yeah, the kebab pizza.
Z: Look at him, he’s nervous! *laughs* Are you okay, Michel?
M: I’m fine, I’m fine...
A: He’s all, “I’m fine”...

Zlatan and Aleksandar commence giggling. One gets the feeling they are a pest together.

Z: You just got out of work?
A: Yeah.
Z: When did you get here?
A: Just now.
N: So what do you do when you’re together?
Z: *quips* Fight!
N: *laughs*
A: It’s true.
N: What was he like as a big brother? When you were growing up?
A: You don’t want to know.
N: I do!
A: Well, kidding aside, when we were all out partying he was playing football. He’d just stay on the pitch.
Z: *smiles*
N: Did people think he was a bit geeky, back then? Always playing, never out partying?
A: Well, that was his life. It was him and his football. I’m really happy he made it.
N: What’s the age difference?
A: Five years.
Z: *devious smile at Aleksandar* We can check it. *shows the tattoos on his wrists*
N: Are those birth dates?
Z: Yeah. So I don’t forget their birthdays. *laughs* That wrist is for the men, this one for the women. They always complain that I forget, I had to tattoo it onto my body.
N: *to Aleksandar* So how about you? Any tattoos?
A: *slightly embarrassed* I...no....
Z: *giggles*
A: Right, okay, I’ve got the same ones. Mum, dad, and the rest.
Z: *laughs* He's always copying me! Right, Michel?
M: That’s true.
Z: If I get tattooed, he gets tattooed.
A: Stop it...
N: But has he changed at all? Has he become a diva since he became a star?
A: *grumpily* No, he was born like this.
N: *grins*
A: When he got kids he got less crazy, though.
N: What do you mean by crazy?
A: He would always do all these things...
Z: Tramsa... ["act unserious"]
A: But now he just stays at home playing Xbox.
Z: The crazy one is that baker over there!
Michel: Actually, we did get up to a lot of things when we were kids.
Z: Blow up mailboxes, you mean? *laughs*

They sit down and eat outside the restaurant. A photographer tries to take pictures from across the road.

Z: That’s a paparazzi, over there.
N: Really?
Z: They find me sometimes. And then I’ll usually invite them over for some pizza. Or ice cream. *laughs*
N: You invite them over?
Z: Sometimes. I mean, they hide behind a tree. Like I’m not suppose to see them. But I do, so I might as well.
N: *to Michel* Come and sit with us!
M: I already ate.
Z: Can’t you tell? *unbeliveably obnoxious laugh*
N: Do you ask Zlatan for money if there’s something you can’t afford?
A: No. I’ve never done that.
Z: It doesn’t work like that. None of them would come to me. I’ll know if they need something, and I’ll do it without them asking. You hear it from someone. And I want to help, but it’s never been because someone’s begged me to. I love helping them, but they never ask me. I don’t think they will, either. It’s that pride.
A: We were raised like that.
Z: They're independent. That’s the way with people who had to support themselves. Take my mum, she’s still working. She just refuses to stop. They always worked, their whole life. I got that from them.

*cut to the Hummer*

DL: We’re going for a photoshoot with Jörgen Kruth [world champion in Thai boxing].
Z: *surrounded by Aleksandar and Michel* Okay.

*cut to Jörgen and Renée talking, at a pretty seedy gym*

N: But what are you going to do to him?
JK: We’ll just spar for a bit.
N: You can’t harm him!
JK: I won’t.
N: He’s playing in the Euros! Promise me you won’t get swept away!
JK: I can’t do that. *grins*
N: *laughs*

Z: *voice-over* I practised Tae kwon do as a kid, but it’s always been a hobby of mine, martial arts and K1. I’m pretty flexible. On the pitch as well.
DL: *introduces Kruth and Zlatan (sporting a black top and lovely bare arms)* You go ahead, and our photographer here will take some pictures. Good luck!
JK: Here we go.
Z: Yes.

Crazy hot fighting session ensues. Zlatan is pretty good.

A: Looks like he’s fit for fight.
N: He’s kicking him in the head!

Zlatan gets kicked across the face and gets down on one knee, breathing hard.

Z: Ah, ah...I can’t... Water, please...

Dick gets white as chalk and rushes over to where Zlatan has collapsed on the floor. He tries to raise him up but Zlatan seems to have lost control over his limbs and just curls into a ball. DL’s movements get more frantic as he grabs Zlatan’s shirt. Suddenly, Zlatan pounces on him, wrestling him to the floor, laughing like a kid.
Nyberg laughs in relief, and Aleksandar drapes himself on Dick, laughing. Zlatan takes a look at Dick’s face and starts again, too.

The photoshoot continues, and afterwards Zlatan and Kruth hug.

Z: Good luck in the competition. Put Sweden on the map.
DL: *in a strained voice* Thank you, Jörgen. Great match.

*end of second part, commercials*

Part III here.

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 14:00:40 GMT

I just have a tape of the documentary "Circus Zlatan", that aired last night. But I'm sure someone will put it on the net eventually, so I thought I should get a translation up, that might come in handy for people if they want to watch it.

PART I

Part II here.
Part III here.

A golden Hummer rolls along the streets of Malmö. Inside it, reporter Renée Nyberg is talking to Zlatan.

Nyberg: So what are we going to do now, Zlatan?
Zlatan: We're going to this thing where I'll be playing football with a bunch of kids, trying to inspire them, you know, so that they'll try to go on playing...maybe learn something, too. From me, I mean. *smiles*

*footage from the upcoming documentary. Zlatan plays football with some kids.*

Zlatan voice-overs: That’s something I’ve always done. If there are kids around, I make sure to spend time with them. I think that’s important. You should try to give back every chance you get.*

*Zlatan and Nyberg stands talking backstage during the shooting of a Nike commercial*

N: This day we’ve spent, it’s been crazy. It’s like a circus, your life.
Z: Yeah. It usually is.
N: “Circus Zlatan.”
Z: Yeah. *laughs*

*cut to the Inter training camp, 2 weeks earlier*

N: *approaches a man who looks about thirty, with a kind, tanned face* Hello.
DL: Hello, Renée.
N: You are Dick, right?
DL: Yes, Dick Landgren. I just talked to Zlatan, he’ll be here in 5-10 minutes.
N: And what is your role in Zlatan’s life?
DL: I’m his press agent. I’ve been for quite some time now. I’m the one who’ll be managing the schedule these coming days.
N: So what’s he like?
DL: You’re never really sure. It depends on what day it is. Oh, there he is.
*a car moves past them on the road*

Nyberg does a short voice-over, describing Zlatan’s career to footage of his various goals.

Z: *walks up with Dick*
DL: Zlatan, Renée.
N: *smiles* Mr Ibrahimovic himself.
Z: *slightly embarrassed* Yes. How are you?
N: I am very well, I’m so happy we got to come.
Z: I'm happy to have you.
N: How are you?
Z: I’m fine. Tired. I usually am, in the mornings.
N: I’ve been told practise starts when you arrives, isn’t that so?
Z: Definitely. *laughs* Right, my own, at least.

*someone honks their horn like a madman* Figo appears, waving from his car (sporting a pink homemade bracelet), shouting: IBRA! IBRAHIMOVIC! IBRA!

N: Figo. He seems nice enough..
Z: Oh, he’s nice as fuck. One of my closest friends in Inter.

*more honking* Vieira, from within his car: You need to start playing and stop talking!

N: Who is that?
Z: *laughs* Vieira.
N: So this is the general tone among you, then?
Z: They just feel a bit left out.
N: Because they’re not the center of attention?
Z: Yeah.

Nyberg voice-overs about Zlatan’s injury as footage is shown of the Inter training camp. Figo can be seen running past the camera, waving his arms about and shouting “Sverige! Sverige! Sverige!” (“Sweden” in Swedish) with a thick Portugese accent.

Nyberg watches as the players walk off the training field. Julio Cesar is accompanied by a man in a dark suit.

N: Who is the man in the suit?
DL: There are so many men in suits walking around, I couldn’t begin to tell you.
N: Like, all players have got their own Dick?
DL: I...well, that I certainly hope. *laughs*
N: *laughs*

Zlatan arrives from the gym, soaked through.

N: Was it hard?
Z: A bit. The hard bit comes now.
N: What are you going to do?
Z: Run a little.
N: A little? *laughs*
Z: Yeah.

One of the players screams something to Zlatan from afar, of wich the words “Figaro” and “importante” are audible.

N: He thinks you’re getting a bit too important. *smiles*
Z: Yeah.
N: What language do you use among you?
Z: Italian with those who speak it, and English. But mostly Italian. I’m sorry but I have to run now before I get cold.
N: Of course.
Z: So you have to stop bothering me. *grins*
N: *laughs*

*footage of Zlatan training*

N: *voice-over* But this is your best season so far?
Z: Definitely. Everything’s been nice, I had a good start, I’ve developed, I play with great players. I’ve felt more prepared.

Maxwell arrives and he and Zlatan hug. Zlatan puts his arm around Maxwell.

Z: *in English* This is my best friend. We played together in Ajax for a long time, three years. When I went to Juventus I wanted to bring him with me, but he wasn’t good enough. *grins* *Maxwell laughs at him* He went to Inter instead, and now we play together.
N: And you share a room together when you stay at the hotels. How come?
M: Well, it is difficult, but...
Z: He’s the only one that can...hold out with me.
N: Does he have any annoying things that he does when you stay together?
M: Many, many things...
Z: *does the donkey bray laugh*
N: Does he snore?
M: No, that’s me.
Z: I can’t sleep because of him! Sometimes I have to slap him in the middle of the night!
M: He makes a big mess of the whole room, I guess you can say he isn’t very organized...
N: He’s a messy boy?
M: A messy boy.
Z: That’s why I’m with Helena.
M: And that’s a miracle.
N: But what do you do together, in the hotel room?
Z: Everything. *grins*
M: We watch movies...
Z: We watch movies, we hug each other...
N: *laughs* Do you...ah, sover sked ["spoon"]?
Z: Well sometimes you can see a leg coming over to your side...you’re like, oh...

*footage of Zlatan training*

Afterwards, Zlatan, Dick Landgren and Nyberg gets into the car.

N: But what kind of a job is this, Zlatan? You come here, you train for a bit...
Z: Glider... ["coasts around"].
N: Glider, really!
Z: But that’s just right now, because I’m injured. When the team have their hardest part of the season I have to train every day, because they think I’m the one who should make the difference.

Autograph hunters surround the car by the gates, screaming “grande Ibra!”.

Z: We stop here to write autographs.
N: Is it like this every day?
Z: Every day. Every single day. And I always stop, I think it’s important.

*footage of the busy center of Milan*

N: Some say that we in Sweden have no idea how big you are, down here.
Z: You'd have to come down here to understand how big the players get.
N: How does it affect you?
N: Well, people recognise you when you’re out on town. I'm not, much, but when I am it does get a bit chaotic.
N: Isn’t that hard?
Z: But I’m not the kind of person who is out a lot. And now I’ve got family too, so it’s even less. Right, this is where we live. I’ve got great neighbours. Ronaldo lives below me, and Vieira. Oh, and the ambassy of Kuwait is on the second floor, so, interesting neighbours.
N: Ronaldo lives here?
Z: Yeah. On the first floor,
N: Wasn’t he your idol when you were a kid?
Z: Yeah. I was here first, though. *grins*

They get out of the car. On one of the balconies a small child is visible.

Z: *looks up, in a soft voice:* Hej ["hi"].
N: Is that Maximilian?
Z: That’s Maximilian.
Maximilian: *screams his head off*
DL: And he’s got his dad’s temper.

They go up the elevator. Nyberg voice-overs about Zlatan’s various lodgings.

Z: *opens the door* Please.
N: Thank you.
Maximilian: *stands in the doorway, sporting a mop of whiteblond hair and a stylish T-shirt*
Z: Hej hej Maxi!
Maximilian: Hej.
Z: Come here...

Zlatan hands him an inflatable ball. Maximilian tries to grab it, Zlatan pulls it away and Maximilian runs after it.

Z: *voice-over* It’s usually the same, every day is like a re-run. I get home, I relaxe, I hang out with the family, I play with the dog. But we try to do as many things together as possible.

They move outside to the balcony. Zlatan has got Maximilian on his lap, and Maximilian plays with the ball, kicking it to Dick.

N: So this is the oldest one.
Z: Yeah. *parts Maximilians hair behind his ears*
N: And you’ve got another one, a little...
Z: A little...bundle.
N: But you’ve said earlier that you wanted lots of kids.
Z: I know, but then I got two and I started to think... *laughs*
N: How involved are you, in raising the kids?
Z: Very, as much as I can. Helena is sort of in charge. And, right, I’m the one who plays with them, teaching them bad manners.
N: But you were with her in the delivery room?
Z: Of course. I was there, offering my support. *grins*
N: Were you secretly thrilled that you got a boy?
Z: No. But I always did know I would have boys. It’s like I said, men make men. *laughs*
N: *laughs*
Z: Isn’t that so, Dick?
DL: *looks uncomfortable* I don’t know...
Z: Right, well, some of us do, at least.

Nyberg voice-overs about Zlatan and the Swedish press.

Z: Ever since the beginning of my career, the papers wrote me out to be a cocky, arrogant...that I had this attitude...but I’ve just tried to be myself, at all times. It doesn’t mean I think the world of myself. You’ve got personality and that’s all.
N: But is there anything you regret?
Z: Absolutely not. Nothing.
DL: *looks at him*
Z: Or maybe the day I met Dick.
DL: Right, I get so abused. *laughs*
N: But now you’re really beloved. You won the Jerring prize. How was that?
Z: That was big, for sure. Better than winning the [Swedish] Golden Ball. And yeah, I was nervous. And I had to make a speech, and I didn’t even know if people could hear me. *laughs* Maybe I ought to have gotten drunk before, so as to get relaxed...

*footage of the Jerring prize ceremony and Zlatan's speech*

N: What do the two of you do, then? Because you spend quite a lot of time here, right, Dick?
Maximilian: *re-appears, grabbing the cans and bottles on the trail*
Z: We play TV-games.
DL: *looks pained*
Z: I’ve got a room where I go and kick Dick’s ass. Because he sucks. I can show you the room.
DL: You don’t need me for that, do you?
Z: Come on, Dick, let’s do it! *bends down and scoops Maximilian up, taking up the entire space and cramming his, well, derriere in Dick’s face*
DL: I don’t want to...
Z: *expertly placing Maximilian on one lean hip, sneering at Dick* Whatever.

In the next scene, Zlatan and Dick lounge in two armchairs, playing an Inter-Milan derby on the Xbox.

D: What button do I press to start?
Z: I told you a thousand times!
DL: Can I be Zlatan?
Z: Definitely not. You can’t handle him. *laughs*
DL: *plays Maldini* I really do suck.
Z: No objections here. *scores with Zlatan*

*cut to footage of the San Siro during the Inter-Siena game, that Inter failed to win. Nyberg and Dick Landgren follow the game from the stands. After that they show the Inter-Parma game and Zlatan’s goals, accompanied by dramatic voice-over by Nyberg*

*cut to the Malmö airport, the day after the final game. Nyberg, dressed in an Inter shirt and waving a champagne bottle around, recieves Zlatan as he gets off the plane, accompanied by Dick Landgren*

N: Congratulations! That was awesome! How do you feel?
Z: *wearing dark glasses* Great. A bit tired. I’ve been up celebrating.
N: You mean you’re hungover?
Z: No. I never get hungover.
DL: *chuckles*
Z: But yes, it feels great. I hadn’t played for a long time, and it was a great way to end the season.
N: I'd say. Where do you place this victory on your list of successes?
Z: It’s my fifth season winning. And well, it's been pretty intense. And my best year so far. So, yeah...
N: But the goals!
Z: But I’ve scored lots of goals this year. *laughs*
N: *laughs*
DL: Right, well, we better go now. I’ll text you, Renée, and we’ll see you tomorrow.
N: Okay.
*they leave*

*end of part I, commercials*

Part II here.

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 17:36:23 GMT

Tonight TV3 will air the much-awaited Zlatan documentary by Renée Nyberg (the one Swedish journalists that Zlatan deemed worthy). She was the only reporter who managed to get an interview with the then in hiding young man behind the Trustor raid in 1997 (the biggest and most ~devious~ corporate plundering in the history of Sweden; every Swedish guy who were a teenager back then will be able to tell you every dramatic detail of the trials and aftermath, and Zlatan, being no exception, has named one of his dogs "Trustor"). She also did a great interview with Zlatan's good friend, media-shy actor Mikael Persbrandt. By the looks of what's been shown already, it will be lovely.

I've celebrated the joyous event by translating two other, recent interviews with Zlatan by female reporters (since he will generally be more open and forthcoming in those), for anyone interested. They're long, so I chose the parts I thought were interesting.

The first one is Zlatan being interviewed by Susanna Wermelinger at the Inter Channel (she was also the one interviewing him for the Uno di noi-episode) before he went to Sweden for his rehabilitation. Endless thanks to iole.89 at the Zlatan is Zlatan Forum, who provided the translation on which I'm basing these parts!

PART 1:

Or the link.

00:21
S: How are you Zlatan?
Z: I'm fine. I've been training, but I've got some problems with my knee and then - nothing - I hang in there.
S: Here's the thing: I always thought of you as an artist, not just a, you know, a "champion", because you have that magic touch. And now you've got this sore knee, it's like a pianist who lost his hand...
Z: Well, at the beginning I wasn't in this kind of pain, so I could play like I've always done. I tried to play with this problem, for my team and for the fans. But I couldn't continue, because I knew that I didn't perform as well as I should... Right now I'm at about 70 percent of my abilities, and I'm striving to get back to a 100.
S: On your T-shirt are the words 'Really and truly'. It's funny, those two words are the same in Italian! Really and truly, now - have you ever been scared during these months?
Z: No, not scared. But I haven't been feeling confident in my body out on the field.
S: What does scare you?
Z: I - there's a lot of things...
S: Then tell me something!
Z: Small or big?
S: Something real!
Z: Oh, but you know, there's a lot...that something could happen to me or my family. Or to other people in the world.
S: In the world?
Z: Yeah, I've grown a bit "political", you see. *grins*

03:20
S: Has Maximilan got your smile? Maximilian, of course, is Zlatan's first son, called "The Boss".
Z: "Little Boss".
S: And Vincent, does he have it? Or is he too young?
Z: Yes, much too young, just a month old.
S: Is he very small?
Z: Yes. And the other one is too big. I got a bed for him that is supposed to fit three years old, but it's too small for him.
S: He takes after his father! Oh, I remember last year, at the Scudetto party, that Helena said she didn't wanted to go onto the field. There were a lot of other children and she said to me, 'you can go with Maximilian', and I thought 'oh my God, I will drop Ibra's son', and I just couldn't...
Z: I didn't carry Maximilian down there because he was too young. But I'll bring him to the celebrations this year. *grins*
S: So you think it's already settled then!
Z: Oh, I'm not worried about winning. My team really wants to win, and they've got the mentality and the qualities for it. Even though we've lost some points, but you know, if you deliver everytime you're like...Mr Perfect, and no one is.

06:14
S: I saw that you have another dog now! You should all see Zlatan with his dogs... I'm sure most people would imagine that Ibra's got a Grand Danois, and instead he has this little dog...and a bulldog called...?
Z: Trustor.
S: Trustor? What does that means?
Z: It was....it's hard to explain, it's a long story.
S: I've got nothing but time!
Z: *laughs* Well, it was a Swedish company, and they went bancrupt... It was the biggest corporate scandal in the history of Sweden.
S: So you named him Trustor, that's funny. I mean we would name our dogs Mafia...

PART 2

Or the link.

S: Look at this magazine, I don't know why we've got it here...
Z: Neither do I...
S: Ah, it has Miami on the cover. How did you find Miami?
Z: I went there for Christmas with my family and it was great, it's like living in Europe, but you're in America. People speak Spanish and Italian as well as English, and it's beautiful, really beautiful, and by the ocean... I like America.
S: Why? Olivier says that he's been going there for 10 years, and he said that you don't know a thing about it! He's is a bit of a philosopher when it comes to these things. He talked about the American Dream because one of his friends went there and now he has opened a restaurant. In Miami everything is possible!
Z: Everything...well, it should be "in America", right?
S: Yes, yes, America! Does the American Dream attract you too?
Z: Yeah, sure. And you do feel right at home there, you've seen it in so many movies and you recognise it.

02:24
S: So Miami is one of your passions, but lets talk about one of your other passions! Somebody said that you like this man, who is it?
Z: That's Mirko Filipovic, he practises martial arts and I like him very much. I watch him on TV and I'd like to go...
S: Why don't you invite him here?
Z: No, he's busy.
S: And you are not?
Z: One day I'll go and I'll see him.
S: What sports does he practise? Boxing?
Z: Everything...all in one. Ji-juitsu, Judo, Thai boxing...
S: So, basically they're killing each other.
Z: Nah. They're professional.

04:14
S: Does Maximilian understand what it is you do?
Z: I don't know, but he's always got a ball in his hands, kicking it against the wall and playing with Teresa, who lives with us. She is very good...
S: The nanny?
Z: No, she's not the nanny. I don't like that word. Her name is Teresa.
S: Right, Teresa.
Z: She is a member of the family.
S: I'm sorry. Teresa, if you're watching this, I apologise! *smiles*
Z: Yes. She's one of us.
S: That's a good thing.

04:52
S: So, the European Championship.
Z: Yeah. It's an important event. It's my fourth Championship with the National team, and I hope it'll go well. And it's such a great event, people watch it all over the world. We hope to make it past the groups stages, but you know, one game at a time...
S: Was it an emotional moment, winning the prize as the best Swedish athlete?
Z: Yes, very, because I'm the first football player who's ever won it. The whole National team got it after the bronze medal at the WC94, but I was the first individual football player to win it.
S: And what did you wear?
Z: A tuxedo.
S: A tuxedo! How wonderful! We should have been there to see it! Did you feel good in it?
Z: Yes, I did. Helena wore one as well.
S: Oh, that's beautiful!
Z: Yes, really beautiful. I'm not really a person who likes to dress up, but you have to make exceptions for events like that.
S: Of course.

06:28
S: Now you have to choose a thing from the table that you would like to take home with you. Filipovic's picture is yours. You could take these Miami magazines to read with Helena, or these T-shirts for the children or a bag for Helena...what do you want?
Z: *face softening, puts extraordinarily large hand on the T-shirt, while Wermelinger shows will of steel by not jumping him* The clothes for the children.
S: When you are going to bring them to the pitch, you should dress them in this!
Z: Right.
S: Do they have clothes like these already?
Z: Vincent doesn't, he's so little. Maximilian only has one Inter shirt.
S: Well, there you go then! And now you should write a dedication on this table, that we'll action off!
Z: Can I write in English?
S: Yes.
Z: *writes: "To all the Inter supporters out in the world, I wish you all the best and luck. Take care, Zlatan."
S: Oh, you're writing an entire poem!
Z: I have to focus...
S: You have to focus! And we are so thankful for this...
Z: *adds a dot after the sentence*

__________________________________________

And here's another interview Zlatan did during his rehabilitation these past months, with the Swedish Children's Sports Channel for the State Television. The reporter is Yvette Hermundstad. First, they show Zlatan trying to score. He finally manages a goal, and tells the camera: "But try to make it look good, too". Then he scores a very straightforward goal, and adds: "Well, I can't miss from there, it's impossible". After that the reporter asks him to sit down with her, and they watch footage of the Italian League and the Jerring Prize ceremony.

The link.

R: So, that was the Jerring Prize - the People's Prize - and here are all these letters to you from thousands of children...what does all this love mean to you?
Z: It's a big thing to me, I feel honoured. And happy, watching this - getting the Jerring prize, it went straight to the heart, as I said in the speech. You get that extra motivation, you want to give something back to the kids - and the rest, too, everyone out there in Sweden. So when you get to practise, you don't want to just kick a ball around, you want to...well, you do want to kick a ball around, but also to do it for all the kids out there.
R: Reading through these letters, one can tell there are a lot of people who would like to be your friend. Here's a question about friendship for you:
Kid: Hi, Zlatan! I was wondering who is your best friend in Inter?
Z: That's Maxwell. He's the one I share a room with when we spend time at hotels...or when they lock us up in the hotels, I should say...and I played with him back in Ajax. So yeah, it's Maxwell.
R: What do you two do, then?
Z: Nothing. I mean, they do lock us in, to make sure nothing distracts us. So we can't really...we watch some movies...
R: They really lock you in?
Z: Yeah. They always make us stay at a hotel or at the camp the night before a match, so that we can...focus.
R: *grins*
Z: *tries to look mature*
R: Well, we have a girl here who writes, 'I have a little brother and he screams all through the night, is it hard when your little boys are screaming the night before an important game'?
Z: Yeah, as I said, I don't get to stay at home the night before a game...so that's not a problem. But as to the rest of the time, you get used to it. Maximilian does sleep through the night, but the other one, he still needs some work.
R: How is he doing?
Z: Fine. He needs to get fed about three times a night, but Helena still takes care of that. I get to go back to sleep.
R: So you're doing great, then.
Z: I am, yeah. *obnoxious laughter*

04:38
R: Here's another question.
Kid: Hello, Zlatan Ibrahimovic! Is it always fun to play football or do you get bored sometimes?
Z: Well, football is really fun. But, right, there are times when you go off it...it usually comes back to you just as quickly, though. I can feel, now I'm injured, how much I want to get back out and play. But I have to focus on getting better.
R: Something that I'm sure can be a lot of fun, but also rather scary, is taking a penalty. Here's a question about it.
Kid: Hi, Zlatan, I wonder what it's like to take a penalty in front of a crowd of 60 000!
Z: You do feel a bit nervous right before, but you should just do it, there's nothing to it. I've gotten the chance to do it a lot this year, and there's just - all there is to it.
R: But do you study your opponents before, their goal keeper?
Z: Nah, I usually don't. You just - I mean, with penalties, you get to go up there and you shoot and it's 50/50, you either score or you don't.
R: When do you decide where to place it? Right when you shoot?
Z: I - I mean, there's lots of ways to take a penalty but for me... Right, I go up there, and I just read their goal keeper's movements, and then I place it in the right corner. *laughs* No, I decide right before I shoot.

PART 2

The link.

01:10
R: Here's a question from a fellow footballer: Marta!
Z: *has been making a show out of shivering in the drizzle at the training camp, hugging the football, but lights up*
Marta: *in the cutest Swedish* Hello, Zlatan. I wonder if you still practise your technique before and after the games? Because I'm so impressed by it.
Z: Okay, well, I do at times, and I will keep the ball with me during warm up, before a game - and, you know, you seek out another player and ask to get to try and dribble past him. And also after the regular practise. Well, during it, too.
R: We've gotten a lot of questions about how to improve one's technique. Here's a kid that asks how you taught yourself to feint?
Z: You watch others and try to remember the best tricks during the games...but you can't think about it too much, you just have to do it.
R: And now you have to show our viewers a little trick!
Z: Right, a simple feint.
R: Go right ahead.
Z: Okay. Oj, oj, oj (God that's Swedish. It means sort of "ay, ay, ay", as I'm sure you guessed). I will do something easy, since it's mostly kids watching...Okay. Overstep, and then... *shows it*
R: A Zlatan feint! Great!

04:00
R: There's a lot of athletes that get prepared by listening to music. Here's a kid who asks what kind of music you like the best?
Z: It's different, it depends on the mood. Though, if you listen to music before a match, I find you get your adrenaline going too soon. The rush comes before you get out on the field. So I'd rather not. That's a theory I've worked out. *laughs*
R: I see. Well, here's Sara with another question for you, listens to this. *sly grin*
Kid: My name is Sara and I wonder if you still remember your first kiss?
Z: Uh...no, I...that was so long ago. Such a long time ago. *faint blush*
R: Do you remember the last time you kissed someone?
Z: Yeah. That happens every day.
R: Well, then! Here's another question for you.
Kid: Who is the best footballer you've ever played against?
Z: It's difficult, at this level they're all good. There are about 5-10 players that are at the very top and I've played most of them, Shevchenko, Kaká, Ronaldo, Messi, and they were all good.
R: But who is the best player in the world?
Z: At the moment it's Cristiano Ronaldo. His form has lasted this whole year, I'm really impressed by that. And his physique. And the way he gives his all in every match.

07:09
R: One last question! What should happen, for you to feel like - that's it, you're content, you're done playing football?
Z: I don't know. I haven't felt it yet, and I hope I won't for some time... But I guess when the body says no, when you run out of energy, you aren't motivated to go to practise, just want to stay at home where everything is nice and calm... *grins* I don't feel that way now, but I guess I will when I...when I get old.
R: Well, we're happy that day isn't today! We better stop now, before we get soaked through...it was lovely of you to answer so many questions - not all 6000 of them but...
Z: *shivers in the rain* Almost.
R: Yes. And don't forget to watch Zlatan Camp* this fall! What about this Camp?
Z: Well, it's a new project, I will be very involved with it. I'll try to show some ways to practise and play football, so that we'll get another Zlatan, or lots of them...so that we can move past this boring football we've got in Sweden, finally.

* The Zlatan Camp is a training camp for Malmö kids that Zlatan sponsors, and that the Children's Sports Channel will be reporting from throughout this fall.
____________________________

Wed, 14 May 2008 19:41:53 GMT

Last part of the NT presentation!

The Former Trio of Stade Rennais
- Erik Edman (defender, Wigan Athletic), Kim Källström (midfielder, Olympique Lyonnais) and Andreas Isaksson (keeper, Manchester City).

Edman, Källström and Isaksson used to play together in French club Stade Rennais, and were all kinds of adorable together. Back when Isaksson was a homesick, teenage goalie in Juventus, Edman (then a Torino player) used to take care of him and cook all his meals for him, and Källström and Isaksson also has played together in the Swedish League. The three of them still hang out together during national gatherings and share hotelrooms.

For this tournament the trio sadly is broken up. Edman tore a ligament a few weeks back, and won't be joining the NT this summer. This is quite a blow, as he is one of the prettiest players in a team with little to recommend them besides looks (and look at the way he assisted Larsson's Goal of the Tournament last Euros!). Here's one pic, before I let him go:

And here is his angry kid brother (lead singer in an obscure rock band) because I can barely let him go, either:

Edman's replacer will probably turn out to be midfielder Sebastian Larsson (Birmingham). He is very pretty, too, in that slightly weird, Freddie Ljungberg sort of way:

ETA:

ETA:

Someone from the old trio who definitely will be joining us for Austria is midfielder Kim Källström, key player in Lyon. Källström looks like a hobbit and is often shipped with goalie Andreas Isaksson - just look at this clip of Isak pulling Kim to the ground and tickling him during practise (at 00:50), and this pic of Kim reaching up to comfort Andreas after Sweden had lost the Euro 04 quarter finals on penalties. Picspam:

Kim is also involved with quite a lot of the conflicts within the NT. He got his penalty "stolen" from him by Zlatan (read about is at # 37 here), and the Swedish fans are constantly arguing about whether coach Lagerbäck should play him or Anders Svensson (Elfsborg) as attacking midfielder. They will show up to games dressed in one of the players' shirts with the name crossed out and replaced with the other's, and Svensson gets terribly distressed. His state was hinted at by the ever graceful Zlatan when he answered a question about media pressure with the following: "I know I'm not some Anders Svensson who shits himself when someone criticize him".

Last member of the trio is the unfortunate Andreas Isaksson. Such a promising goalie he was, and really, one of the best at these two latest tournaments (he got us a 0-2 result in the game against Germany last WC with about 20 saves), and yet, he's one of the main problems this tournament, having played just about two matches with Manchester City. Apparently he annoys coach Sven-Göran Eriksson by behaving like a "whiny teenager", and has been placed on the bench for most of the season. He would need a good Championship to get away from there.

I was really hoping for Marcus Berg (Groningen) as the fifth forward. He scored 15 goals in the Dutch League this season and he's cute:

But seeing as he's 21 years old I should have known better. Lagerbäck doesn't ever select players under the age of 23, and so we got Marcus Allbäck, 35, instead. He has been known to take special care of the younger players in the NT, taking Zlatan fishing and tending to the ever sensitive Anders Svensson. He and Svensson even used to sleep in the same bed, back when the coach would pair older players together with younger at the hotels to build team spirit (Svensson: "With just a couple of sheets between us I do get a bit quiet when the light is switched off. I don't really dare to think about sex.") Here he is:

And I know it's a good 10 years until he'll make the NT, but I need to post just one pic of the Swedish media darling Albin Ekdal, 18 (Juventus):

****

Well! I'll just hope for the best.

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:37:52 GMT

Yeah, so this is another Zlatan post, for no apparent reason other than that I needed a break from school. And I still squee over Vincent. <3

1. While Maximilian's middle name might be Zlatan, Vincent appears to have been named after Helena Seger. The name Vincent is derived from the Latin verb vincere ("to win"), which in Swedish translates to segra. The noun, of course, is seger ("win, victory"). A direct translation of Vincent ("the winner") would be Segraren. I would have loved it if they had named him "Noel", as well (or "Leon", as they were thinking with Maximilian), since that's her middle name (why yes, she does share her middle name with Lord Byron <3).

(I am probably fangirling Helena Seger to an unhealthy degree. But all the other Swedish WAGS look like this, and I just love her DSquare beltbuckles, and this second direct quote from her I just found from 2007: "No, those are just rumours. We are absolutely not going to get married".)

Apropos of Vincent, in a recent interview with Italian "Max" magazine, Zlatan was asked about being a father:

"I like it a lot. It's a new experience, but when I'm with my son I feel relaxed - we play and, yeah, I like it a lot. We're expecting another child now and I feel more prepared this time around. It's another boy, which is fortunate, since Helena doesn't appreciate competition".

You can read the interview here (only in Italian, I'm afraid). It's a great one, he is asked about ABBA (answering quite diplomatically) and the various stories about him (satisfying their curiosity about him and that journalist's wife, for example).

2. I included a Zlatan/Nesta/Maldini picspam in an old post from last year. There's nothing new, I just wanted the pics in one place.

3. Top 3 answers from a Q&A held before the final Euro qualifier, in Stockholm this winter:

What's your favourite TV-series?
Zlatan: Heroes.

What do you and your teammates in Inter do right before entering the field?
Z: We talk. Nothing deep, it should be simple and energizing, like; "Let's do this", stuff like that. Oh, and we give each other compliments.

Which forward is the best you have ever played together with?
Z: Henrik Larsson.

(*sniffle* I just get nostalgic.)

4. Here's a nice quote about Zlatan, from the Malmö FF team physio when Zlatan was selected for the A-team in 1999:

"Zlatan got that physique for free, basically. He was lazy as fuck, but gifted with a completely unique body. Starting out, it was just stronger than all the rest, he didn't have to do anything."
Becke, originally an athletics instructor, used to coach the Olympic runners Torbjörn Mårtensson and Patrik Stenius. He says that Zlatan's physique in the fall of 1999 - when he was fresh from the junior team - held up against Becke's 100 metres runners's. For instance, the MFF physio measured the players at "stationary five-step jumps" (how far they could jump after running five steps from standing still). Zlatan Ibrahimovic jumped 15 metres, the same as Mårtensson and Stenius. The Olympic triple jumper Christian Olsson would possibly do 17 metres. None of Zlatan's team mates were even close to the teenager's results.
"Some people have a lot of natural strength and you can tell he's got it by the way he moves. Zlatan may be over 1.90 metres, but he handles his body like someone at 1.80."
According to Becke, the secret is in the stomach- and back musculature.
"His lower torso is perfectly developed. If you'd ever seen that boy naked, you would know that his lateral abdominal muscles - the "side front muscles", that go from the belly down to the groin - are very clearly defined, all the way down. Usually those muscles can't be spotted at all, but on him they are clearly visible. He's quite a phenomenon."

5. razor2rozary posted the pics that accompanied the Max interview, and bustedflush pointed out that in this pic, it looks like Zlatan has got scar tissue on his belly forming the letters "TAN", which possibly could come from an old tattoo saying "ZLATAN". Now, I do have a pic that's been floating around various Zlatan forums, only I always thought it was a fake. Now I don't know.

ETA: At the wonderful Zlatan Ibrahimovic Fanclub, there are stills from the Max video.

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 23:41:50 GMT

So! I am working on a crazy-long post about the Grenoli - the Swedish striker trio Gren, Nordahl and Liedholm that played for Milan in the fifties - and scanning tons of pics to go along with it, because vintage football is <3. But now I'm taking a break to translate some random Swedish tidbits. It's a Larsson clip, an interview with young!Zlatan (where he explains it all so very clearly) and also some Zlatan Youtube-interviews just in case anyone would like them.

If the Scottish people had never seen Henrik Larsson play with Celtic, I wager they would've named him "King of Kings" after seeing this 2007 show alone. It's a mockumentary (yes, I used the word) by Swedish comedian Felix Herngren, where he reveals hidden truths about some of Sweden's most beloved celebrities. In this one episode, he researches two Helsingborg citizens - Tina Nordström (a very cheery and enormously popular TV chef) and Henrik Larsson - with shocking results

[link]

The show starts with a clip where it is revealed that Nordström has a secret passion for being fed (a person with a preference for being fed is referred to as a "feedee", while the person doing the feeding is called a "feeder"). When this Youtube vid starts, you see her forcing Herngren to feed her, apparently having an orgasm when he complies.

Herngren: *voiceover* "I had heard about this sort of thing before, but had no idea it was so widespread in Southern Sweden."

*cut to interview*

Herngren: "So, you have actually been the feeder of Tina Nordström?"
Henrik Larsson: "Yes, yes. That is correct."
H: "I must say, this comes as something of a surprise. Has this been going on for a long time?"
L: "Well, it is a tradition in Helsingborg. When I was a kid, Eva Rydberg [famous ballet dancer] was my feeder."
H: "You mean you've been a feedee as well?"
L: "Why, of course. You have to be a feedee before you get to feed. Eva Rydberg, for instance, she was fed by Edward Persson [matinee icon]."
H: "But you are so...thin. In shape."
L: "Well, you do it for a while. But, you know, I got into professional football, I was forced to drop a few pounds. 160 pounds, I think it was. So..."
H: "You lost 160 pounds?"
L: "Yes. That was a lot. But you know, you eat what they feed you, and that's mostly fatty food."
H: "And this is a....compulsive disorder?"
L: "I wouldn't say it's a disorder. It's tradition."

*footage with Nordström going over the edge, concerned voices being raised, etc, etc*

Herngren: *disgusted, obsessively running the treadmill* "Well, we met a fairly fascinating person today, really into what she does, and this program does strive for an objective and fair representation of reality, but this, you have to draw the line somewhere. I am apalled, I am."

*cut to interview*

Hernren: "Am I right in saying that it seems there are a lot of Helsingborg citizens who are into this sort of thing?"
Larsson: "Well, you must consider our proximity to Denmark. In Danish, 'Helsingborg' actually means... *faltering voice* 'Porkborg'. *cracks up* *high-pitched voice* "I can't say it with a straight face!"

*****

In the next clip, Herngren finds out that Henrik Larsson takes part in certain fertility rites before every game, in order to score on the field. When the Youtube vid starts, Larsson is informing Herngen of his various superstitions.

[link]

Felix Herngren: *mid-conversation* "...but you think there's some sort of connection between the music and him standing outside the dressing room?"
Henrik Larsson: "Definitely."
H: "Okay."
Man: *entering* "Time for the eel."

*outside the dressing room. Herngren is interviewing the man*

H: "You mean you followed him to Scotland and everything?"
M: "I did, yes. Seven years, it was the worst. Rained like fuck."

*cut to the dressing room*

M: "Right, the eel."
H: "The eel."
M: "Yes."
H: "At exactly 17 minutes before the game?"
M: *gets out a dead eel* "Yes."

*cut to outside the dressing room*

H: "I have to ask - why? Why are you doing this?"
M: "To me, Henrik Larsson is one of the greatest football players ever. And we're friends, and friends help each other out."
H: "So you're not paid or anything?"
M: "You mean, like, paid? Yes. I am."
H: "How much?"
M: "I get 4.2 million kronor (0.42 million Euros) a year, doing what I do."

*cut to the dressing room*

Henrik Larsson and the man: *stuffs the eel down Larsson's pants, start chanting*
"SWIM, SWIM, UP LARSSON'S LEG!
EEL, EEL!
MAKE HIM SCORE, SCORE!
SWIM, SWIM, UP LARSSON'S LEG!
MAKE HIM SCORE, SCORE!"

*cut to Bosse Larsson, the withered old host of the most popular program in the history of the State Channel, called "Gammeldans" (something like "Ye Olde Folk Dances"). In this show, he is presented as "Henrik Larsson's dad".*

H: "Did you ever pick up on this behaviour?"
Bosse Larsson: "I did, yes. Henrik is - well, he's..."
H: "Different?"
BL: "He's insane!
H: "Really? How so?"
BL: "For instance, we can't celebrate Christmas together if it's an even year."
H: "What? Why?"
BL: "You'll have to ask him. I don't pretend to know."

*cut to the dressing room*

Henrik Larsson and the man: *chant*
"SWIM!
UP LARSSON'S LEG!
EEL! EEL!
MAKE HIM SCORE, SCORE, SCORE!"

*cut to Bosse Larsson*

H: "Perhaps you are a superstitious family? You ever did the eel routine?"
BL: "No, no. Never. If the situation demanded it, I would take a halibut and press it gently against my shin."

*cut to the dressing room*

Henrik Larsson and the man: "BIG EEL! GIVE US GOALS!" *pulls the eel out of Larsson's pants*

*cut to the interview*

H: "But you think this is necessary? In order to play?"
L: *sneers* "Do fish swim in the ocean? Of course it is. How else would I have made it this far?"
H: "Are your serious? You wouldn't have played this well if you hadn't performed those...rituals?"
L: "I am quite serious."

*cut to the dressing room*

Henrik Larsson: "I am ready for my game."
Man: "I'll go stand outside."
L: "You know where."

*******

And here's the Zlatan interview, from 2002:

I MAKE OUT WITH GUYS ON A DAILY BASIS
By Filip Hammar

You were so "happening" there for a while. Why are you on the bench? Lost your touch?
- On the contrary, it's better than ever. That I'm on the bench right now has to do with other things. And I'm not worried, I've got time to wait. I enjoy life in Ajax and Amsterdam very much. No one can demand miracles from a 20-years old his first professional season. Everybody, stay calm.

As someone who is following you career, I often get the feeling that you could very well turn out the best football player in the world, but also end up a thundering fiasko. Do you understand this feeling?
- I come from nowhere, I have nothing to lose. At the moment I just enjoy life, getting paid to play football. That's all I have to do, play football for Ajax, as well as I can. How people choose to speculate doesn't really interest me. I'm not the one claiming I have talent, the journalists do. I don't call them, they call me.

You're living in Amsterdam now - ever been down to the Red Light District, done a little sinning?
- No. It's not that I'm easily offended or anything. I just would never go down there to try it out. It's not for me at all. But I know of the area, right.

I saw this clip of you visiting your new arena in Amsterdam, surrounded by the press. You had a lollipop in your mouth, and looked all cool and unimpressed. Do you like candy?
- Not particularly. I got it from this girl who works as pr-woman for the players, and when I walked into the arena I just felt I needed something sweet, because that arena is so overwhelming. The coolest in Europe, no doubt! But it's really hard playing there, the crowd is so demanding. If we don't play like Brazilians and score hat tricks they just scream at us.

There's this scene in "Blådårar II" where you seem a bit unsure about how many children your mother has really had. Isn't that something you should know?
- She's had five. I know that, of course. But I like to joke, I do it all the time. Sometimes people - journalists, I should say - get a bit confused as to what I really mean. And I do love that.

You're quick-witted. If I were to tell you that you're Sweden's Muhammad Ali, what would you say to that?
- Muhammad Ali delivered, he didn't just talk. He showed everybody in the ring that he really was the greatest, it wasn't just words. Me being Sweden's Muhammad Ali...I don't know. People got me all wrong, I think. I'm not that cocky. I'm a nice, considerate guy - soft, even - who just likes to joke around with journalists.

Right when you turned pro, you got engaged with a girl in Sweden. But that didn't last long. Don't you take love seriously, Zlatan?
- I do. But if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. It's not that hard. I'm single now and that's alright. I'm not constantly on the lookout for a new relationship. It will happen, sooner or later. But, sure, it would be great to have a girlfriend. I'll admit as much.

I imagine your straightforward style attracts a lot of girls. How many one night stands would you say it's been, so far?
- I don't do that. To me it's all about love and romance...right? Besides that I have no comments.

I love hearing that you're a romantic. How do you express it?
- You've just got to be a good guy, considerate. I've always been that and I always will. Then, there are these things you just have to do, like the guy should pick up the bill if you go out for dinner, you just have to do that. But I don't have anything going on in that department right now. Football takes up all of my time, I've no time to go out. The American Gigolo thing will have to wait until after my career. Or at least until vacation.

A friend of mine went to the night club Laroy in Stockholm one evening last year. According to him, you were there sitting at a table, surrounded by champagne bottles and all these friends who were just chanting "Zlatan, Zlatan". Do you get a kick out of that?
- What? That's not true. My friends are the same as me, they would never do that. And I would never let them. Such bullshit.

What would you choose - getting blindfolded and shot or being filmed while another guy fondled you between your legs?
- Seeing as I make out with guys all the time, being fondled on camera wouldn't be a problem...or, not. Seriously, it doesn't do, fooling around with guys. I would have gone with death, then. I guess.

One of your highschool teachers has said that you were one of the worst students she ever had to teach. What did you do to piss her off like that?
- I read that. But I'm not even sure who that was. She's exaggerating. Sure, I threw spitballs and I talked too much, but that's just part of growing up, isn't it? I would have been in jail right now, the way she described me, like I was some sort of "Kjell Kriminell" [I have no idea, I think this is some Malmö slang. "Kjell" is a male first name, it's like saying "Carl the Criminal" or something]. But, then again, I don't care what people say. They talk too much for that.

How many CDs have you bought? Really good ones, I mean?
Lots, I listen to a lot of music. But I almost always download, it's just easier. I mostly listen to reggae, rap, trance and R'n'B. My favourite at the moment is Alpha Blondy, he's this old reggae dude. Some of his albums are just great.

[Swedish ex-Parma player] Tomas Brolin once said: "I'll never get that deranged", when someone asked him whether he reads books. Honestly - how many books have you read?
- A few. The forced me to read "Robinson Crusoe" in school, or they wouldn't give me my grades, so I read that one, and it was...pretty interesting. But I don't read that much. When I've been practising or playing a match and come home, I can't read, I just want to rest. I might put the TV or some music on, or just let it be quiet.

So, do you shave your groin then, Zlatan?
- I shave everything. Of course.

Don't you have a tendency to buy really expensive stuff? Does pricey always equal quality?
- No, of course it doesn't. I buy the stuff I like. Sometimes it's expensive, sometimes cheap, I don't really care. Yeah, I do shop, but I'm not obessed with luxury or whatever.

Well, it says here that you own two brand new, super-exclusive Mercedes Benz. Would you say you've had enough cars for a while?
- The models get updated all the time, you have know what's out there. But I'm not getting into a discussion about all the cars I might have.

You are a millionaire, many times over. But does money really buy happiness?
- No, not a bit. It does give you lots of freedom, though. You can have lots of fun with it. But it's not decisive as for whether you are happy or not. I've been happy my whole life, and my family's income was average. I didn't get any less so because I couldn't ask my father for a Porsche.

You've lived in this city, the most drug-liberal in the world, for about a year now. How many joints has it been, so far?
- About...7000. Right, not one, of course.

I get really touched by how much your family means to you. What would you do if someone badmouthed your sisters and brothers or parents?
- I'd get upset. I don't see why anyone would, though. But they are important, of course. My big sister is grown up and has her own family, so I don't keep in touch with her as much. But my brothers and my other sister, and my parents, I talk to them almost on a daily basis.

Seriously, Zlatan. You do things with a football that no Swedish player has managed in decades. Give me one reason you're not in the line-up for Sweden this WC [02].
- There might be better players, all around. I've always said that I'd be pleased just to make the squad. If they did take me with them to Japan, then of course I'd hope for a chance to play. I'd be stupid otherwise, but we'll see. I'm just 20, I'll get my chance.

I do think you've got a great "fuck you" attitude, which is sorely needed in Swedish football. Where did you get that?
- I had a good childhood. I believe in myself. People think it's like, extreme, growing up in Rosengård. I wouldn't say that.

You are a huge rolemodel to the kids in Rosengård, with it's immigrant population. Do you make any efforts as such?
- When I played in Malmö FF I used to come around and play football with the kids, but not so much anymore. It gets a bit hysterical when I do, and also, when I get to come home, I just want to take it really easy and hang out, I'm so rarely there. But I always talk to people who want to talk to me. I'm not scary. People are always surprised at how nice I am, that I'm a great guy.

You do seem like a nice guy, inside. Do you give money to charity?
- I give to homeless people, in Amsterdam and Malmö. Like, whatever I've got on me. I'm not a member of any charity organisation, like Amnesty, though.

Even though you do seem like a nice guy, there's got to be people who've got beef with you. How many guys have you thrashed in your life?
- Not one. I'm not the kind of guy to go ask for trouble, or have people come up to me. Of course, sometimes when I go out I run into people with a bad attitude, but they always realise I'm a nice guy, there's never been any fights. And in Amsterdam everything's totally cool, it's such a big city and no one recognize me.

It feels like we've only experience the first chapter in "Zlatan - the Story". What are you doing in five years, do you think?
- I play football, I hope. My contract with Ajax expires in five years, so either I'm playing for a different club or signing a new one with Ajax. I've no plans, other than to improve my football as much as possible. I can't promise that I've turned into a world-class player by then.

********

And here are some bitchy!videos. I'm always trying to find translations of various Azurri vids (like the Hidden Camera episode with Totti :P), so I thought I could at least translate the more common Swedish Zlatan ones on Youtube.

* Zlatan tells Peter Jihde off (2003):
(video)

Peter Jihde is like the golden reporter child of Swedish sports media, although he really appears to be a bit imbecilic in this interview. Zlatan is frustrated right from the start, the team played really bad and he's like, bouncing off the balls of his feet, trying to keep still and be serious.

Jihde: So, Zlatan, what about the game?
Zlatan: We lost, we didn't play well...the pitch was bad but that's no excuse...we were bad today, plain and simple. We didn't get the game going, didn't create anything. *pause, quieter:* That's life.
J: Why didn't you, do you think?
Z: I don't know, there're eleven players out there, and everyone's responsible, it's not about one or two players...it's all of us.
J: What went wrong, then?
Z: We didn't get the game going, didn't create anything, we didn't control the ball, just... We didn't play well, that's it.
J: Let's look at your performance and the way you played, how would you describe your own game?
Z: I came here from Ajax, and we're used to controlling the ball and I didn't get the passes I'm used to get over there, but I'm not placing the blame, but I did the best I could and when you don't get the ball, naturally you disappear, you freeze, it doesn't matter if your used to score or not, if you don't get passes like you're used to you can't move around.
J: There was something going on with you and the audience, they screamed at you, and you did a sort of "now listen" gesture when you scored - what's your opinion about tonights audience - the Croatian audience?
Z: I don't know if there's anything to say... They're loud, and...yeah, I don't know what to say, there were a lot of them.
J: So how do we transform the bad we witnessed today into something positive before the game against San Marino, Zlatan?
Z: Just - we've got to get the game going. If your going to get to the WC you've got to play ball, if you look at today's football, first rate football, all the teams in the Champion's League, those teams play ball, they aren't kicking the ball away, dropping the ball - we've got to play football, that's all.
J: So how, then? How do we play football?
Z: We put you in the midfield so you can call the shots. Ask the manager!
J: ...okay. Thank you so much, Zlatan.

* Zlatan and a SVT reporter (2005):
(video)

This was during the phase where Zlatan spent most of his time making fun of the journalists, as they started getting more and more nervous about interviewing him.

Reporter: What should I ask you today, do you think?
Zlatan: No idea. That's your job, isn't it? I'm here to answer questions, not ask them.
R: *attempts a joke* There goes a golden oppurtunity at controlling my job...
(FOOTAGE OF PRACTISE)
Z: *laughing* Have you ever done an interview before? Or is this your first time?
R: It's my first time with you...
Z: Well, you don't have to be nervous. Just relax. *complete change of tone* So, this is a new game and it's going to be an exciting one, everyone's looking forward to it. We'll see what happens - as I said before, the outcome isn't given. We're all focused and we're going to do all that it takes to win the game.
(FOOTAGE OF PRACTISE. Voiceover: "So what has the squad gained from Zlatan's development in Serie A?")
Zlatan: I think there's a gain in the fact that we've got the same formation - when I played in Ajax we played 4-3-3 and now we do 4-4-2 and it's more similar to the Swedish system, and I think that makes it easier for Lagerbäck to position me in the game. Then of course, I play with different players in Juventus than in the squad, and I think that's helped.
(FOOTAGE OF PRACTISE. Voiceover: "Lastly, I use my imagination and ask the simple question - what did Zlatan enjoy most at practise today?")
Zlatan: *exhales slowly* What did I enjoy the most...scoring goals, how about that?
R: And how did it go?
Z: It went fine.
R: Which means...?
Z: ...it went fine.
R: "The ball is round"?
Z: The ball was used to score. *obnoxious laugh*

* Zlatan throws a fit (2006):
(video)

In this interview, Zlatan starts off by talking about a recent Sweden-Germany game. Then he talks a bit about his new striker partner's, Johan Elmander, progress in the French League, and also about Brazil's Ronaldo (who had recently praised Zlatan). The reporter seems kinda rookie and sort of stutters and mumbles his way through the interview (you can see Zlatan looking annoyed at times). At the end comes the clincher (there's a cut to it):

Reporter: How does the fact that you're about to become a father affect you?
Zlatan: That's none of your business.
R: *nonplussed* If one looks at...er...the way...let me just look at...in case I've forgotten anything...
Z: You look through your questions and then you get back to me. *gets up. As he leaves the room he gestures towards the reporter and says "Vilken pajas" ("what a clown"). He often uses that word about people he considers to be "unprofessional".

*******

And on a complete sidenote, here are a couple of Helena Seger pics to remind you of the woman who, according to Zlatan's friends, "shares his general attitude":

(Close up of the pic of Zlatan watching Helena and Maximilian)

and

(At the Milano fashion show last week)

I think that was all. Now it's back to the Grenoli and the Order of Milan.

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 16:16:45 GMT

1. Zlatan Christmas shopping with Helena and Maximilian. Ah, this season.

(With Helena looking distinctly altered. I'm just saying.)

2. My new favourite pastime between exams, Morph Thing. Whether you are into malepreg or not, finding out what footballers would look like if you morphed them together will, I trust, be as fascinating to you as it is to me.

For example, I wanted to create the master striker of Serie A, and so blended together Zlatan and Kaká.

Here we have Zlatan in all his glory:

And here Kaká:

And behold, the not-so-hideous progenity! Armed with Kaká's calm eyes and Zlatan's massiveness. Quite lethal, I'm sure:

(Of course, on the site, they also have a 'broad selection of celebrity faces', so you could check out what Zlatan would look like morphed into Britney Spears (which I have, I might well admit). Or, you know, take the not so slashy route and find out what your grumpy children with Alessandro Nesta would look like. It definitely brings the cheers.)

3. The fact that Roland Barthes was a Sandro/Zlatan shipper! And I do think he would have fitted right in:

"Z is the letter of mutilation: phonetically, Z stings like a chastising lash, an avenging insect; graphically, cast slantwise by the hand, it cuts, slashes. This Z is the letter of deviation: S and Z are in a relation of graphological inversion: the same letter seen from the other side of the mirror. The slash (...) has a panic function: it is the slash of censure, the surface of the mirror, the wall of hallucination, the verge of antithesis, the abstraction of limit, the obliquity of the signifier, the index of the paradigm, hence of meaning." (Barthes, "S/Z", 106-107)

Awwww Sandro and Zlatan and the index of the paradigm! <3

4. Henrik Larsson. There was an interview with him the other day (about the fact that he is top scorer in the UEFA Cup at the moment), and there was this bit:

H: "I haven't had vacation in a bit, but that's fine. But I'll be going to after the Bordeaux game."
Reporter: "Which beach will you be lounging on?"
H: "I...no, I shouldn't say."
R: "Afraid we'll show up?"
H: *laughs* "No, but it's something important to me. I'd rather not talk about it, much."
R: "Then the question I had planned might be provocative to you, but here it is: I heard you go to Kap Verde, when you can - as a search for your roots, one might say."
H: *long silence* "No, I don't, but I am now. It's the first time. I've never been there before. And I would prefer if the press let me keep it to myself, as much as possible."

So that is how he will be spending Christmas. He also said that "Ten years ago, if you'd asked me whether I'd ever consider coaching, I'd say never. But now, I'm not so sure." (probably he's had lots of practise, directing his entire team through the UEFA stages).

5. Zlatan answering questions by the Swedish people at the Football Channel in November:

Sonja: What do you like most about the way you look?
Zlatan: All of it. Just the way God made me.

In case you were worried about him.

******

ETA: Some recent (lovely!) pictures of Zlatan, Maximilian and Helena on the beach in Miami:

Zlatan with his little brother Alexander (behind him):

ETA:

ETA:
(Also, in case anyone missed them, amaritudo posted lovely Miami pics here. More from the batch posted below can be found here.)

ETA: And finally, the sex of the new baby:

Snippet from an interview with Expressen, 08.01.11

Smoke is coming out of his mouth as he enters the pitch. The legs are heavy, the result of a training camp far away from here.
– We had quite a tough week in Dubai, lots of ground work, Zlatan explains after practise.
- I'm pretty slow, you know, in the beginning, but then the more matches you get the more you start going.
His latest game with Inter was the victory derby against Milan the day before Christmas. After that, his ever graceful trainer Roberto Mancini gave Zlatan and his teammates time off for about a week.
- So we got a week's worth of vacation, and I was in Miami for Christmas and New Years. Which everyone knows, I guess. Hah.
- I just had lots of sun, spent time with my family.
It was quite obvious that the couple's son, Maximilian, born in September 2006, is about to become a big brother. Zlatan is not a fan of paparazzis and normally, not too interested in sharing his private life with the media. But this time, he seems okay with divulging, a bit.
The Swedish fans need not fear that you'll be off on parental duty during the European Championships?
- No, they don't. That will happen before, the birth of the baby.
You'll be a father of two. What are your thoughts on that?
- Yes... *laughs a little* I enjoy it. I hang in there. I'll have to start collecting coupons, soon.
What do you mean?
- That I'll have to start collecting... Right, anyways, it will be great for Maximilian to have a little brother. So they can grow up together.
So it's another boy, then?
- Yeah. I am a man, I make men. Don't you know.
Would you like a big family?
- We'll have to wait and see. Maybe we'll have another one. It's okay, either way.

******

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 21:32:36 GMT

Also, some loving on Zlatan! Most of these quotes I've posted before, but they're my favourites, and they deserve a post of their own.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic's Top Five Feminist Statements:

(Right, so obviously Zlatan isn't a disciple of Butler's or a third wave activist or anything. But he does prefer, and often recognize, strong women with careers of their own, and in the world of football, I will deem that enough to grant him the epithet.)

1. On the Swedish squad's homepage, the players are all asked who they think is "Sweden's greatest sportsman". Though gendered, the word is supposed to include both sexes, but all the other players have gone with, say, Björn Borg or NHL player Peter Forsberg. Zlatan, though, answers "Annika Sörenstam" - the number one female golfer in the world.

2. At this year's Swedish Football Awards, Zlatan was awarded the prize as best male forward, and the Brazilian player Marta da Silva, who plays for the Swedish club Umeå IK, got the prize as best female forward. Afterwards, when Zlatan was asked what he thought about her, he revealed himself as pretty much head of her fanclub:

Zlatan: "She is so great to watch. I love it, everytime she gets the ball. That's the things you want to see, the things she does. And she delivers, no matter what's at stake. She's one of the - no, she's the best player in women's football, no question."
Reporter: "Do you think she might even be more techinal than some of the players in the men's NT?"
Zlatan: "Well, she's obviously technical - very technical - but she's also just so fast. She's definitely faster than the guys in the NT."

("I love it, every time she gets the ball" is my translation of "Man njuter, varje gång hon får bollen". A direct translation would be "I enjoy it, every time...", but "njuta" in Swedish is a very strong, sensual word, that you would use about, say, relaxing completely in a sun-drenched flowerbed, or sipping on the world's most exclusive wine, or something. I could have translated it to "It is a lustful experience to me, watching her play", but that didn't quite sound right, either ;) (I suppose "relish" would work). "That's the things you want to see, the things she does" is basically the same thing he's said about Cristiano Ronaldo ("It's players like him that you come to the arena to see"), so obviously, to Zlatan, the best players are the technical entertainers. Incidentally, he's described his own style as "I know what the audience want to see and I try to give them that".)

3. Of course, he also participated in a children's show specifically geared towards (and with the pronounced purpose of empowering) very young girls, that promote gay rights and feminism. This was back in 2002, while he was playing in Ajax. He already was weary of the press, and the show host Elin Ek also has said that the Ajax press secretary wouldn't let her get more than five minutes with him. But when she showed up, he decided to stay for two hours, so she'd get a real program.

4. When asked about his rolemodel, he always answered "myself" when he was younger (I know, I know). The only time he answered someone else, it was "Izabella Scorupco", a Swedish actress who emigrated from Poland, and who is famous in Sweden for her role as the brainy cryptologist Bond girl in "Goldeneye" ("She's great. I admire her.")
Since then, he's also added Muhammad Ali to the list.

5. He's very used to, and embraces, cleaning. From the book "Zlatan is Zlatan" by Petter Karlsson and Jennifer Wegerup: "As a child he had to do all the chores - run the errands, clean the house, do the dishes. (...) When Zlatan was living with Sefik [who worked double shifts at a warehouse], he was responsible for all the household work. (...) He's still against the idea of keeping a maid. It's partly because he's always been worried about his mother [who is a cleaner] and her back, but also because he's so used to cleaning up after himself. It's almost touching to read an old interview with Zlatan in his apartment, when he'd just been elected for the A-team in 2000, and he's embarrassed because "it's so messy in here". The only thing that's out of place is a pair of trousers thrown across the back of a chair [the reporter wrote that: 'Zlatan Ibrahimovic's home is like an interior catalogue, completely spotless']". When talking about not wanting a maid, he said: "If you're living with someone, you ought to share the work between you. I like to keep things clean, myself." He recently said, however, that he can't go buy the groceries anymore, "[his] girlfriend has to go every time", because "the paparazzi just chase [him]" if he's out in town.

He's also said that he changes diapers and that all of his time outside of football practise is spent with Maximilian. He seems completely head over heels about "Maxi" (which is what he calls him); he's gushed things like: "He always smiled a lot - he's always laughing, so I always start too. And I've never laughed so much as when he started making all these sounds, before going to sleep. Me and my wife would look at each other and say, 'Listen to him talking. God knows with whom.'", and "Of course [my view of football has changed] - I'm a parent now and it comes first. I'm not on my own. You play because you want to provide for your family, there's a new member of the family that just comes first. Fotball comes second. And if you've lost a game, and you come home and get to play with your son, you forget about it. It's just you and your son, playing. So I think you become calmer, as a person. You don't think about football as much, you think about your family." For those among the reporters who find him so improved in modesty and team-spirit, I would point to Maximilian as the prime source of this, provided I didn't think Zlatan always had quite a lot of team-spirit, only it wasn't made into a story before, which is what I do.

(Okay, he dribbles a lot, but at least he's thought about it. They asked him, a couple of weeks ago, about the football school he plans to open in Sweden: "Ever since I started playing football, people has told me to dribble less. I won't have that in the school. That's pretty basic - if a guy has something, don't take that from him.")

+

I feel I should mention Zlatan's partner, Helena Seger. Back when Zlatan was single, he was asked how a girl should go about picking him up, and answered: "She doesn't have to act like she's clueless. I'd rather have tough, smart girls come up to me." And you probably don't work yourself up from being a shop assistant to shop manager, to CEO, to the board of the biggest publicist company in Scandinavia, without being tough and smart. Also, she does stand her ground. When her and Zlatan's relationship was revealed by the press, the tabloid Expressen dug up a scantily clad photshoot of her at 18, and then cornered her outside her home for a comment. She said, coolly: "Yes, I remember. Those are great pictures. I have done a lot of modelling, I enjoy it. I still do it from time to time." Then they asked her about her and Zlatan's relationship, and she refused to comment. When asked why she never would talk about it in the press, she said (demonstrating a sense of self to rival Zlatan's own): "I simply will not. I am a strong woman, who worked my way up. This media story hardly captures all of what I am." (link) That is, to date, her only public comment.

Also, some random Zlatan pics:

1. Zlatan/Figo:

2. Smiling:

(Bigger, watermarked, version)

3. Armgrabbing!:

4. Being cute (and colour-coordinated!):

5. Being frustrated: <3

6. Tummy!

(And a bonus pic I feel should be put behind a cut)

7. More tummy!

8. Screenshot from the Pippo/Zlatan video:

9. Being handed a Tyrolean hat after the qualification for the Euros in Switzerland:

10. Not Zlatan, but his adorable offspring (you guys, this was taken back in June, so Maximilian was like 9 months in this pic, and he's basically half the size of Helena already):

(There was a pic of him in the papers back during one of the qualifiers, but I forgot to keep it. In that one, you could see he didn't inherit Zlatan's eyes - they're blue, and quite the same shape as Maldini's, actually. I think he'll grow up to look a lot like Zlatan (because he looks just like the baby photos of Zlatan) - tall and gangly, with dark curls - but with huge, blue eyes. Quite odd. ♥)

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 21:30:13 GMT

When Marcus Allbäck (1973) follows Henrik Larsson and retires from international football, Sweden's strikers will all be of the younger generation; Zlatan Ibrahimovic (1981), Johan Elmander (1981), and Markus Rosenberg (1982) (to the Swedish NT, that's young). And while Zlatan did raise the bar considerably, Elmander and Rosenberg has quite admirably mastered the art of adorableness, as well; if you are interested, here's :

Johan Elmander

"Elmander sure has made my family happy."
Zinedine Zidane

Johan Elmander is this perfectly ordinary, easy-going and pleasant young man, who so happens to have landed the role that almost all of Sweden - players, fans, female non-fans - covet; that of Zlatan's partner, following Henrik Larsson's retirement. Consequently, he's had to get used to being interviewed about Zlatan's shape and mood quite as often as his own, and to spend the training sessions at national gatherings exclusively with him, as they practise how to "spot" each other (i.e. read each other's game) during matches. This exercise also is the subject of the most frequently asked question at the NT press conferences; "Have you guys learnt how to "spot" each others yet?". One time Zlatan got fed up and answered: "I spot him fine, he's hard to miss at 6.2."

His international breakthrough definitely was the Sweden-Paraguay WC 06 match, where he came on as a substitute with 10 minutes left, and assisted Freddie's winning goal in the 89th minute. In an interview the next day he described, in the usual sunny manner of his, the feelings after the game: "I can see Fredrik's header, and next he's running towards me, and then we're this pile, you know, and I have no clear recollections of it. But at night, when you're lying in bed, you get it; 'fuck, that's awesome, being the bottom of a pile like that - 1-0 and 50 000 [Swedish] supporters in the stands - how awesome...'" When Zlatan was boycotting the NT last year, Elmander had to grow up quite fast, as he was put in the line-up for Sweden next to Marcus Allbäck, and definitely proved himself with the goal against Spain in the 2-0 Euro qualifier that fall. Unfortunately he has had quite a dip in his form recently.

At the moment he plays for Toulouse in the French League (he is the center forward in their 4-5-1 formation), and was largely behind their qualifying for the CL. Zinedine Zidane commented: "He's really, really good. I have family from Toulouse on my wife's side, and they are just overjoyed about the team, and the fact that they are in the CL for the first time. Elmander sure has made my family happy." It is predicted that he'll go to either England or Spain during the summer transfers (Barcelona at one point showed interest).

When it comes to Zlatan, a sports magazine recently put it thus: "Their forward partnership has never been about love at first sight, but rather resembled a dysfunctional relationship where one side's strengths take out the other's, a relationship where intense marriage counselling possibly might enable them to live together." Elmander fits the defensive, counter attacking playing style of the NT very well - rather than technical he's a physically strong and fast forward, possessing what the Swedes affectionately call älgakliv (translated as "elk strides". We refer to elks sometimes). Zlatan, however, will fidget. While his clubs have benefitted from his technique, in the NT Zlatan sometimes slow the Swedish game down by holding on to the ball for too long. Mancini could bench Adriano (a player whose style strongly resembles Elmander's) when he didn't think the Brazilian fitted with Zlatan - coach Lagerbäck has got to try his best to make his two disparate strikers work together, knowing well that if he's able to combine Zlatan's receiving skills with Elmander's speed (add to this that they're two of the tallest and heaviest forwards in all of the national teams), things could maybe finally start to get interesting.

Zlatan and Elmander do not associate at all outside of the pitch. In the national team, Elmander mostly hangs out with his old team mates from Djurgården, Kim Källström (Olympique Lyonnaise) and goalie Andreas Isaksson (Manchester City).

Oh, and! His favourite movie is "Almost Famous". <3

Picspam:

ETA: At the Euros 08:

Some Zlatan/Elmander:

And then there's Markus Rosenberg.

Markus plays for Werder Bremen and has his own community at LJ. My favourite Werder Bremen fic is lemongrasstea's Markus/Diego story Opaque, which also can be read in the first issue of football slash anthology cornerflag.

Look-wise, Markus is a bit of a Swedish Cristiano, all cute and buff. Incidentally, he was second only to Ronaldo when Dutch magazine Gay Krant voted on the sexiest players of the WC 06. He put on quite a display in his last game for Malmö FF in the Swedish League - when the supporters stood and sang to him afterwards he thanked them by throwing all of his Malmö clothes to the fans, and left the arena in nothing but kneesocks and underwear, crying the whole time. Here's fanvid that will give you quite a clear grasp of his personality (I have to admit I do love the shot at 1.33. Oh, and that spat with Materazzi).

He has achieved precious little in the NT, so far. His seems to be the usual situation with the Swedish NT - he performs well in his club, like in the Werder Bremen-Real Madrid 3-2 game recently, where he scored one goal and assisted another (and what a lovely goal celebration that was) - but just disappears at internationals. The same goes for Kim Källström, who is a key player in Olympique Lyonnaise but often benched in the NT to make room for Anders Svensson, a player from the Swedish League.

And because I can never resist dragging Zlatan into these presentations: Markus is friends with Zlatan ever since the Malmö FF days, when they both played in the junior team. While not all that close, they sometimes go out together during national gatherings. He's made a comment about Zlatan that never fails to crack me up: "Most of all I remember he had a phase where he developed enormously. Both as a football player, and body-wise, and, yeah, in all kinds of ways..."

Picspam:

So! Those would be Zlatan's ~~trusty~~ cute sidekicks.

The other strikers most likely to be brought to the Euros next summer are:

Sebastian Larsson (1985), attacking midfielder, Birmingham:
(He has scored a couple of nice goals, like this one against Tottenham yesterday. I think the management is sort of hoping he'll turn into a new Freddie Ljungberg, he's pretty quick. They used to play in Arsenal together, too.)

ETA: Added a picspam here.

and

Marcus Berg (1986), forward, FC Groningen:
(He was sold to the Dutch club just a couple of months ago and has scored 6 goals in 10 games. I hope he stays in shape.)

I am also holding out in my hopes for Henok Goitom (1984), forward, Udinese and Real Murcia:

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 23:45:00 GMT

Oh, I had to celebrate Sweden's qualifying somehow. I know we didn't exactly, heh, shine against Spain away (although to be fair, half the squad was injured! And Lagerbäck was saving Allbäck for the game against Latvia. We did beat Spain at home, 2-nil. *clings*). Anyways, so I settled for translating this interview with Zlatan after the final game yesterday, against Latvia in Stockholm.

Reporter: *to the studio* "How much is left of the commercials? How much is left of the commercials? Right, okay."
Zlatan: *finishes his other interview, leaves*
R: "Hoo-hoow, Zlatan!"
Z: *pretends he's not listening, then turns, smiling* "What the hell do you want, then?"
R: *mumbles something*
Z: "What? I thought you liked chatting on TV."
R: *to the camera* "Right, here we go."
Z: *feels the reporter's coat* "New coat?"
R: *inaudible*
Z: "Well, that's Svensson." [dear God, is this hard to translate. 'Svensson' is the most common last name in Sweden - when used as an epression it means something non-exclusive, socially acceptable but boring, that lots of Swedes (particularly of the middle class) would have, or wear.]
R: "It's a Frankie Morello!"
Z: "What?"
R: "A Frankie Morello."
Z: "What the fuck kind of perfume are you wearing? You smell horrible!"
R: *turns to the camera* "Right, here we go."
Z: "You do smell horrible."
R: *hushes him* "Stop it." *smiles to the camera*
Z: *smiles to the camera too* "Ho-rri-ble."
R: "The Sports Club is back at Råsunda for a quick chat with Zlatan. What have you got to say now Sweden is in the Euro 2008 for the fifth time running?"
Z: *gets into his interview character* "Well, it feels great. We've been close for a long time now, but we pulled through this last game. At home, in front of our own crowd, in our own country. That's about as good as it gets."
R: "How much fun will it be?"
Z: "It'll be fantastic. Like you said, Sweden is in the tournament for the fifth time in a row, and we'll enjoy it for as long as it lasts."
R: "Great fun. I hope we'll meet in Switzerland and Austria!"
Z: "I hope we don't." *laughs*
R: "Thank you."
Z: "You are welcome." *leaves*
R: *to the camera man* "That's a wrap, Pär...for fuck's sake..."
The camera man: *in the background* "Well, it wasn't live."

******

(To be clear, Zlatan and this particular reporter, Patrik Ekwall, have got a very good relationship. Although I suspect the joke is at Ekwall's expense a bit more often than he'd like to admit.)

Also, a pic that makes me wish I was an old, bald man:

*celebrates*

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 18:23:46 GMT

There are lots of posts I want to do about Zlatan (like one with caps and quotes from the documentary "Blådårar 2", because teenage!Zlatan is so adorable). But since I also want to get some more of the Swedish player presentations up it'll have to wait. To hold me over, I thought I'd do a mini Zlatan!spam with 10 more Things about him (slowly working my way up to a 100! :D), and 10 pics that make me happy. (I also do update the old Zlatan picspams regularly, so you might want to check them out.)

1. He and Helena recently bought a house in Malmö. It's a beautiful PINK patrician villa built in 1910, with this view of the Ribersborg Beach. The interior designer hired to redo some parts of the house has said: "The Ibrahimovic-Seger couple wants to preserve the character of the house, when it comes to roof details, panels and floors. We've looked at old blue prints together, to try and restore as much as possible to its original state. Both Zlatan and Helena has very clear ideas about how they want things." I love the slightly run-down garden - such a nice place for Maximilian to sneak about in as he grows older.

From an interview that aired earlier this week:
Reporter: "You say you're very fond of Rosengård, but you didn't exactly buy a place to live there as an adult."
Zlatan: "Er. Well, that's becase I wanted a house, a big house. You've just got blocks of flats in Rosengård." *smooth grin*

2. And some A/Z. Because there seems to be a lot of talk about bitchy!Nesta these days, I just have to post the video of how Jari Litmanen got him injured during that Ajax-Milan Champion's League game. Zlatan tries to talk to him and just gets brushed off, the medical staff tries to look at the wound and practically gets slapped. I'm sure most of you has seen it already, but just in case - it's such a classic Nesta moment, and of course the start of the dust-up to come, that got A/Z into the waters (for some quotes on that occasion, try here).
Also, this is completely unrelated to Zlatan, but I love it and must share. It's from a Swedish story on Sven-Göran Eriksson while he was at Lazio:

Saturday the 18th of December, 1999, Lazio throws a Christmas party at the Formello after morning practise. The atmosphere is great - after the last game before the Christmas break, the team is on top of the League.

In the ballroom stands a Christmas tree decorated with light blue Lazio ornaments. You can't see the buffet table for all the pizza slices, panini and sweets. The player's wives, covered in gold, gossip and toast each other, and the kids run back and forth between the sweets and the gifts.

Lombardo, in Santa's beard and a pair of sunglasses, is joking around with everybody. Most of all he's teasing young Alessandro Nesta, placed right next to the podium.

Everyone's laughing and cheering, Mancini wolf-whistles and Nesta blushes like a maid being courted for the very first time.

Later, passing through the gates of Formello in the car with Sven-Göran Eriksson, we pull to a halt. In the car ahead of us is Nesta, and the fans are crowding for a chance to get to him, to hand him their Christmas presents. Young, painted girls climb each other to reach him. The chaos keeps building and the line of luxurious cars behind Nesta keeps growing.

"Svennis" waits patiently, cool as always. After a while he remarks, with a bit of a smile, in that thoughtful way of his:

"It's no surprise, that boy's popularity with the girls. So young, and such a famous football player, and all that money. And all that beauty. He handles it admirably, though, he's a good kid."

Hee.

And another one! Because in this one Nesta talks about Sweden, so that sort of ties it with Zlatan...I think...maybe they could go there on a romantic holiday? Anyways he's so cute in it. A female reporter for Aftonbladet followed the Azurri's training sessions at the Euro 00, and did a story on the Italian players' legs:

Paolo Maldini, 31, plays for Milan and has the most beautiful legs in the world of football - according to a recent, most serious poll. Fabio Cannavaro, 26, from Parma, is a dish in slipped-down kneesocks. On his ancle he sports a sun tattoo. But judging by the screams from the girls, Alessandro del Piero, 25, is the new reigning prince of the hot. Only his right leg is viewable, I'm sad to report. His lefts sock's been pulled up. He's got something wrong with his calf.

And then, of course. There's Alessandro Nesta. Born on the 19th of March, 1976. 187 centimeters tall. 79 kilos. Hasn't played for any club but Lazio.

I keep staring at his legs. They are the most evenly tanned out of everybody's. Muscular, yet slender. Further up is a big smile, gentle brown eyes, and an unbelievably beautiful mouth. I hereby proclaim him the loveliest player of the Euro 00.

And, being an accredited journalist, all I have to do is to stand by a blue fence and wave, and he'll come to me.

Unfortunately so does his translator, because he speaks but a few words of English. He speaks Italian with his coach, our very own Sven-Göran Eriksson.

"Probably because I've been to Sweden a lot with Mr Eriksson, to practise", he answers shyly when I ask how come he's so popular in Sweden (among the girls, at least, which is what counts). This beauty was chasing girls in Varberg just last year, rumour has it. My condolances to those who missed the oppurtunity.

"Very beautiful and very calm and so spacious", is his view on Sweden, which he gives me in this incredibly sweet and lovely manner of his.

Close up I noticed that the smudge on Nesta's right calf is a tattoo, too.

"It's an eye", he comments the intriguing mark.

What it means? "Nothing", the female translator says, but adds, "he sees with his legs, that's why he's such a great footballer."

That's what I've always thought. It all comes down to the legs.

Right, moving on.

3. Because I'm still hopelessly in love with the idea of Zlatan/Kaká, I have to post a commercial for the Swedish channel TV4 Sports that's been running for a good long while and yet never failed to make me grin like a loon. ~~Four Brasilians~~ Zlatan + three Brasilians (Ronaldinho, Robinho and Kaká) sneak into an empty football pitch in the middle of the night to play. In one of the shots you see how Zlatan tries to get to the ball by picking Kaká up like a little child and throw him aside (and for a second, you see Kaká's grim face behind Zlatan's back. I know this because I taped it and watched it in ultra slow-motion). To be fair, in another shot you also see him smiling with appreciation at Zlatan's goal. Here it is.

4. And a random Figo/Zlatan video because there are some shots of Zlatan arguing with opponents and referees and smiling the whole time. Which I find adorably frightening.

5. As Helena Seger is extremely private and never has agreed to an interview (possibly because she doesn't want a public image as Zlatan's girlfriend to get in the way with her future career) there are no photoshoot pictures/quotes of her. If, however, you're as much of a stalker as I am and want to hear the voice of the woman who has wrung Zlatan into a functioning member of the public, you can listen to it at the Swedish Radio's homepage here (you might have to confirm your media player first and then open up the window again to get to the interview). She was interviewed as the CEO for an air company that had recently started flying to a new destination, and was asked about future expansions. I love her voice - so strident! <3

6. And I wanted to post some of the random quotes below because I think Zlatan's such a feminist, bless his heart. From the book "Zlatan is Zlatan" by Petter Karlsson and Jennifer Wegerup: "As a child he had to do all the chores - run the errands, clean the house, do the dishes. (...) When Zlatan was living with Sefik [who worked double shifts at a warehouse], he was responsible for all the household work. (...) He's still against the idea of keeping a maid. It's partly because he's always been worried about his mother [who is a cleaner] and her back, but also because he's so used to cleaning up after himself. It's almost touching to read an old interview with Zlatan in his apartment, when he'd just been elected for the A-team in 2000, and he's embarrassed because "it's so messy in here". The only thing that's out of place is a pair of trousers thrown across the back of a chair [the reporter wrote that: "Zlatan Ibrahimovic's home is like an interior catalogue, completely spotless"]. When talking about not wanting a maid, he said: "If you're living with someone, you ought to share the work between you. I like to keep things clean, myself." He recently said, however, that he can't go buy the groceries anymore, "[his] girlfriend has to go every time", because "the paparazzi just chase [him]" if he's out in town.

And here's a quote from an old interview where he talked about prostitution:
Reporter: "You live in Amsterdam now - ever been down to the Red Light District, done a little sinning?"
Zlatan: "No. It's not because I'm easily offended or anything, but I would never go down there, to try it out. There's nothing exciting about it to me. But I know it exists, right."

(I don't know, I just enjoy reading different footballers opinions about these issues, considering the sort of world they live in.)

7. I don't get Zlatan's family relations. In the Blådårar documentary he stated, after some hesitation, that his mother has had five children, and was later asked to confirm it in an interview: "She's had five kids. I know that, of course." His mother left her hometown Prkos at seventeen and worked in Germany before moving to Sweden, and brought a son, Sapko (1973), from an earlier marriage. Hers and Sefik's first child, Sanela, was born in 1979, and then, in 1981, Zlatan. After the couple's separation Jurka got remarried and had another son, Alexander (1986) with her new husband. And now, two more sisters are added to the family - Monika, born in 1871, and Violeta, born in 1972. I've come across this in several articles. The two sisters aren't among the family members whose birthdates Zlatan have tattooed onto his wrists, and he has said himself that he "doesn't stay in contact with them much". In an interview when he was 20, he said that he had "two brothers and two sisters", but that his "older sister and [he] had grown apart". Either Monika or Violeta has got to be this "older sister", since Jurka's "had five children", and possibly from the same relationship as Sapko, since they're so close in years. But why they would be coming to live with her and her new husband I have no idea.

But I should just stop prying, right? Right.

8. This isn't something Zlatan did personally, but it's very cute. Every year there is a ceremony in Sweden where the year's best books in various cathegories are awarded the August price (named after the writer August Strindberg). Last year, the award for best childrens' literature went to the book "Lill-Zlatan och morbror raring" ("Mini-Zlatan and Uncle Sweetheart"), by Pija Lindenbaum. It's about the little girl Mini-Zlatan and her friendship with her beloved uncle Sweetheart. One day as she comes to visit, there's a stranger sitting at uncle's kitchen table - his new boyfriend Steve. Mini-Zlatan gets heart-rendingly jealous and promptly wages a war with Steve - this is sort of the main story, about how kids have to learn how to cope with sharing the attention - but they finally connect when he offers to play some football with her, and become friends. It's just adorable (I loved the writer when I was a kid), and was one of the most bought books of 2006. Starting out, the writer was unsure if she'd get to use Zlatan's name (because he has trademarked it *eyeroll*), but an exception was made for the book and she could go along with it.

9. As much as I like listening to him speaking Italian, I love it when he gives an interview in Bosnian, as he does here.

10. He came to Sweden at the beginning of this week to play football with the Rosengård kids on their new football court, that he paid for himself. It's top standard and a part of his project to start a football academy in Sweden. He said he expects "a lot of new Zlatans to come out of it" (with a wolfish grin at the more conservative parts of the Swedish press <3). He then gave an interview that's been hailed as one of his best - he was so sweet in it, charming and open and mature. The Swedish press is pretty ecstatic about it, they mark it as the beginning of a new and freer relationship with Zlatan, to which I will say nothing, but leer slightly.

Excerps from the interview:

Reporter: "Will you end your career like Henrik Larsson, in the Swedish League?"
Zlatan: "I don't think Henke knew he was going to play here when he was 26 years old. I have no idea where I'll be in five years. Although it could be the Swedish League, sure."
R: "Could you consider some other club than Malmö FF?"
Z: "No. I won't play for any city but Malmö. If I come home."

About Maximilian:
Zlatan: "You always try to give your family the things you didn't have yourself, growing up. My kid will have everything I had and more, and everything I didn't. Although, my parents didn't have the opportunities I've got, but they still did their best to make me happy. That's what's made me the person I am today."
Reporter: "But Maxmilian will basically get whatever he wants?"
Z: "He won't. Haha. He'll have to work for it. There's got to be some discipline."
Reporter: "Does the way you look at football change, when you get a family?"
Z: "Well - of course it changes, I'm a parent now and it comes first. I'm not on my own. You play because you want to provide for your family, you have a new member of the family that just comes first. Fotball comes second. And if you've lost a game, and you come home and get to play with your son, you forget about it. It's just you and your son, playing. So I think you become calmer, as a person. You don't think about football as much, you think about your family. But I also think in that way you're able to deliver more on the pitch, you're not as wound up about it. You don't, like, stress your goals, you achieve them a bit at a time."

He also talked about Moggi, the Calciopoli (Reporter: "Do you still think you won those two titles with Juventus?" Zlatan: "Yes. I think the players should feel like they won it. We went out there everyday, we risked our legs in every match, we didn't know."), the boycot of the national team, whether he had been more questioned because of his background than he would have been if his name "had ended in -son instead of -vic", as the reporter put it (Zlatan: "I think you should ask other people about that."). I have to translate more from it later.

My favourite part was when the reporter put on the video of Zlatan staring at Ronaldo, the first time Inter and Milan met after Ronaldo's transfer.
Reporter: "What were you thinking, right there? Oh look, now he spots you looking!"
Zlatan: *slowly grows pink* "I wasn't...thinking much. I was just enjoying the view. (!) He's been my hero ever since I was little, it was just a very special feeling, being on the same pitch as him. I just wish I could have gotten to play on the same side as him. But now I get to watch him every day, because we're neighbours in Milan. So that's even better."
R: "Do you guys ever go out for coffee?"
Z: "Well, we have very different schedules..."
R: "You should take him fishing!" (Zlatan likes to fish, especially in the Lödde River in Malmö, and in the interview he said that he'd "been fishing with my 'fishing buddies' in Malmö, just relaxing".)
Z: *grins like a fool* "I should do that."

(So basically, Zlatan/Ronaldo really is the ship that would have sailed gloriously if it wasn't for the extra weight, so to say. I mean, just look at this pic.)

You definitely should check out the interview, even thought it's in Swedish - it's just jam-packed with megawatt smiles and hand!porn. And it really was an altogether pleasant event, although Zlatan still could be a bit prickly. Like so:
Reporter *to the camera*: "Now this interview is over there'll be a discussion about Zlatan at the studio, with Hedman and the other football journalists.".
Zlatan: "Yes. The experts."
R: "Er, that's right."
Z: *polite smile*

Picspam:

1 + 2. Photoshoot scans by boumsong:

3. Zlatan smiling:

4. Zlatan getting hugged by a very, very gay man:

5. Some nostalgia - baby!Zlatan admiring Henke:

6. And a random pic of the new NT striker duo Ibrahimovic/Elmander just because they're pretty:

7. Zlatan taking a picture at the Swedish training camp:

8. Zlatan bending over:

9. Zlatan showing some skin:

(caps by moralimperative)

10. And, the last one. I don't own a scanner, so I had to go ask my school librarian to get this one on the net. :D It's behind a cut, because it can't be called safe for work. Remember this pic? Lets just say it adds another piece to the puzzle.

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 18:23:02 GMT

Here's another part of my Sweden NT presentation! Next up hopefully will be Zlatan's striker partner Johan Elmander.

Ten Things About Freddie Ljungberg.

1. So, Karl Fredrik Ljungberg. Well, he wears pretty obscene clothes. Let me present you with a few examples.

Here's Freddie. All innocent saphire blue eyes:

Inconspicious pair of jeans and a military jacket.

And he turns.

(Yes, that would be "Vestal Masturbation" it says on the back.)

Want another example? Here we have him again, strolling down the street:

And here's a close-up of his T-shirt.

(Yes, those would be two girls with a strap-on.)

2. He's got a kid brother named Filip, who used to live with him while studying in London ("he’s got an apartment of his own but he tends to use mine, especially when I’m not around..."). Filip was a recurring feature in the Sky documentary about Freddie (that used to be up on Youtube but sadly is no more) from 2003, and came across as the, well, teenager he was. Below is a couple of the highlights:

* Dialogue in Freddie's car (Freddie is driving the female reporter and the camera man into the city for some shopping):
Freddie: "You were on the pitch last game, weren't you?"
Filip: "Yeah".
Freddie: "I heard that today. That the steward had been shouting 'Who the fuck is that, out walking on the pitch?'"
Filip: (to the camera man)"I remember when they won the Swedish Championship - after the game, we were going to run out on the pitch. And who ran? I did - and nobody else! And the steward was like - *illustrates being brought down with a karate move* And then he took out, like - uh, 'handklovar?'"
Freddie: "Handcuffs."
Filip: "Handcuffs! And I was like, YEAH! Thanks!"
Freddie: *laughs*

* The Sky team arrives to Freddie's close friend Giovanni Bolandrini's shop Vertice on South Molton Street. Freddie sips some green tea and models the clothes Giovanni's picked for him (this seems to be standard procedure). He chooses a jacket with bullets sewn on to it, and Giovanni jokes that it's going to get him stopped in security. "Filip get searched every time he goes back to Sweden," Freddie tells him. "One time they even asked me to take off my trousers!" Filip eagerly confirms. "I was like 'Come ON', they were like, 'yeah. Take them off'. But they didn't do anything..."

* Later on in the documentary Freddie is having dinner at the home of Giovanni and his wife Tina Bolandrini. When he arrives with the Sky team Filip is already there, raiding the fridge. While the four of them has a glass of wine, Giovanni starts lamenting his lack of hair. "Everyone's got more hair than me. Even your brother has got more hair than me", he tells Filip (Freddie, in his corner, quietly pulls the baseball cap further down). He then starts talking about how in the future there will be pills that you eat to get hair. Instantly, Freddie sits up and goes: "Yeah, but with those pills, are you going to get more hair on your entire body? Or just on your head?", and Filip dramatically gestures towards his crotch, making a sound like a bomb going off.

3. He seems like a pretty normal, pretty smart guy. You get the feeling you'd actually be able to hang out with him, because he seems to share point of reference with the world outside of football. Like in this interview where he's asked about the consequences of his Calvin Klein stint:

Freddie: "People are always asking me to sign their underwear for them."
Reporter: "Men too?"
F: "Of course - a lot of men wear the things!"
R: "Are they straight or gay?"
F: "Both, I’m sure. I usually don’t ask someone who requests an autograph, 'Do you like boys or girls?'"
R: "Do guys ever say, 'Could you sign this underwear for my girlfriend?'"
F: "Sure."
R: "Isn’t that a tip-off?"
F: "Yeah. Especially when the shorts they’re asking me to sign are briefs."

He also studied economy and information technology at the university before getting his contract with Arsenal, so there's that.

4. Among Freddie's interests are:

* Campy music. Quoting an old interview: "Since moving to London he's seen Mamma Mia! three times, Miss Saigon and Saturday Night Fever. Saturday Night Fever is his favourite". One journalist noticed that he had the Grease soundtrack on his Ipod. When asked to describe his ideal night out he said: "My favourite place is a karaoke club. In Sweden nobody would enter the stage without being heavily drunk, but here they get on sober and just sing - and they sing great! But I realise my limits and just watch from some corner of the room." And, well, this would seem to be the clincher: he likes ABBA, too. Poor Thierry Henry was once asked who had the worst music taste in Arsenal, and said: "I'm going to have to say Freddie. Once he [put on] a CD with ABBA in the dressing room. And, you know, I don't mind ABBA, but before a game - maybe it wasn't the thing to [put on] in the dressing room. Obviously, as they are Swedish and he is Swedish, he was pretty proud, but, you know. I don't mind ABBA...but, you know, still...how do you say in England; not my cup of tea." (<333)

* Candy. This is how he describes nights after a game: "The body is worn out but the brain is on speed. So I'll watch TV and eat candy until half past three in the morning." He lists his favourites as: Coca-Cola, Swedish salt liquorice, crème brulee, chocolate mousse and Tesco’s custard-filled doughnuts. A journalist once wrote that his apartment looked like "the home of a wealthy couple who has left their teenage son home alone; really messy and filled with DVDs, sneakers and candy-wrappers".

* Art. He's a collector, and in one interview he revealed that he'd been about to buy one of Damien Hirt's pill box installations for a relatively small sum, but that it was too big for his flat. "I so wish I'd bought it now: it would have been worth about five times as much." His favourite objects are Hungarian and Russian sculptures. "The problem is that they also keep getting bigger and bigger, and I just can't fit them in my flat any more. I'll have to find somewhere else to house my collection soon." (lol)

* Having coffee and hanging out with random, more or less handsome, men (preferably at the same time):

He is aware of what the media might make of all this, but describes his situation as: "When I have a cup of coffee with a girl she's my girlfriend, when I have coffee with a guy he's my boyfriend. I'm used to that, by now."

* His golden retriever Caesar. There's a scene in the Sky documentary where he takes Caesar to the beach outside of Halmstad; Caesar promptly runs away and Freddie mumbles "shit" and darts to get him. When he returns (not even short of breath, of course) he proudly says: "He's a bird dog, so if he sees birds, he's going to follow..." When asked about his "favourite things" in a Swedish magazine, he listed Caesar: "He is just wonderful. I love talking to people about dogs in general. He has very big floppy ears." He also lists his mobile phone and says: "I'm not sure what I'd do if I lost it, and I particularly love using it to show pictures of my dog Caesar to everyone." He couldn't take him with him, but regularly brings him down to London:

* Clothes. Freddie's usually can be sorted into two cathegories: swank, and flaming. When he has to dress up for a semi-serious occasion, he'll do it according to his own personal fashion philosophy: "I don't like everything matching together. I want it to be a bit fucked-up and messy. I think that's pretty cool.". Here's a few examples of the swank:

Here, on the other hand, are but a few examples of his rather more flaming style:

Although occasionally, he does kick back and relax in the team tracksuit:

(Oh, and his favourite accessoires are hats and umbrellas.)

5. He has suffered from severe migraine bouts ever since he was a teenager. They're usually triggered if he gets something in his food that he's allergic to (like cheese or red wine), and do seem really rough. Usually he'll lose his vision and won't be able to walk, and has to keep to bed in a pitch-black room for about a week before he's recovered. Jens Lehmann once had to get him off the pitch and drive him home (they're neightbours) because he got an attack during warm-up and just fainted away. The same thing happened before an international friendly last year, and then his best friend in the NT, ex-Arsenal goalie Rami Shaaban, had to stay in his apartment for a week to look after him.

6. Right, I probably should mention his football. Well, his peak was pretty far back in time - the 01-02 season when Arsenal went undefeated all the way to winning both the League and the Cup. Small, feisty and red-haired, Freddie was the darling of Highbury and the media, and a key player the whole season. He ended it by scoring the winning goal in the Cup final against Chelsea, and it seriously is one of the most satisfying goals I've ever seen. Also, have a couple of pics from the pre-shave glory days (Arsenal/NT):

(Awwww Freddie and his pillow for the bus. <3)

Reporter: "Dying your hair red - a cunning plan to make yourself a Gooner hero or a daft afternoon in the hairdressers?"
Freddie: ""Er... the second one. I couldn't believe the fuss. Back home, guys dye their hair all sorts of colours and nobody notices."

(And, er, this famous Arsenal pic contains nudity, so, behind a cut.)

Also, here is a very important football quote, from a Swedish interview:
Reporter: "Some footballers seem so relaxed in the locker room, they walk around completely naked in a pair of flip flops and don't even seem aware of it. It's like they enjoy standing around with no clothes talking to others who are fully dressed. Like they aren't ever going to put on clothes again. Are you like that?"
Freddie: "I don't know. I know what you mean, but what the heck, I've been playing football since I was five, it's not like I haven't been around naked men before. So I guess you could say the atmosphere gets pretty relaxed, and you do want to dry before you dress. And you know everybody, so."

On the pitch, Freddie is very fast, and very bitchy. When he gets into fights, he'll usually maintain some distance and just taunt the other player (knowing fully well he doesn't stand a chance in an actual brawl). When asked about his greatest weakness as a footballer, he said: "That I'm too light. The other players just pick me up and move me aside". (I remember well one time when Sweden played England and Freddie was showed into the fence, right next to a microphone. All the viewers were treated to Freddie yelling "What the fuck, motherfucker!" to the other player.) He's a really sore loser, and he and former captain of the NT, Olof Mellberg, often end up at each other's throats discussing match strategies after Sweden has lost a game (for a play-by-play of his history with Mellberg, click here).

He has always been an important part of the Swedish team, although for a couple of years he was critized for not delivering in the NT. There was quite a lot of articles where he was referred to as the "Primadonna", because of his habit to show up to national gatherings just to do some light exercise and "soak in the jacuzzi", and not exactly take pains to go through coach Lagerbäck's tactics before the game (Freddie: "I sometimes feel like raising my hand and asking Lagerbäck to excuse us players that have been on the team for a couple of years, because let's be honest, we know exactly what's coming." He's started to work harder in recent years; some say as a result of becoming team captain after Mellberg resigned. Among others, he scored a very important goal against Paraguay in the WC 06, and was awarded the Golden Ball (Sweden's most prestigous football award) the same year. That was also the year he played the Champion's League final with Arsenal, but was defeated by Barcelona after Henrik Larsson had assisted both goals.

Because of his self-sacrifizing style on the pitch, his body has been easily (and frequently) injured, and he recently transferred to West Ham after being injured for most of the 06-07 season. In all probability, the 05-06 season was his last performance on top of his game - unless he pulls it together for the Euro 08. He's already started planning what to do after he quits football - he wants to travel extensively, and also work with fashion in some form or other, although he doesn't want to specify anything yet. He also wants to start raising a family (he loves kids and has got a godson named Elliot that he'll wheel around Halmstad in a stroller whenever he's home).

7. And because I love the Sky documentary, I've got to list some more of my favourite quotes/moments:

* Sweden NT coach Lars Lagerbäck, fondly reminiscing in front of an empty field: "I couldn't say that I thought he would turn into an international player. Because he was very, very little. In his first match we played Denmark, and he scored twice, so he convinced me rather fast that he would turn into a good player. Even if he was very, very small. But he was quick!"

* Sol Campbell: "He's very loud. Real loud, cause he's got that screechy...that screechy kind of voice, you know, swearing or whatever. You can hear him a mile away. He does swear a hell of a lot."

* After the Cup final in 2002, a reporter gets hold of Freddie on the pitch and asks him what it feels like, winning the title. Freddie, enthusiastically: "It feels very very nice! It's fucking excellent!" As he says this Thierry Henry suddenly jumps into view, hugging him tightly with a squeak, as if trying to muffle the things Freddie's saying. It's just adorable.

* As he's dressed for a photoshoot, he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror and exclaims: "I look like Ken!", swinging his arms to and fro. He's all freaked out that the haircut won't look good, and the flamboyantly gay hair dresser is all: "You certainly aren't going to look boring, that's for sure". Then he shaves the sides of Freddie's head and dyes the hair auborgine, and Freddie's almost climbing the walls before he gets to see himself in the mirror, repeating "Be dark, be dark..." As he's waiting for the hair dresser to be done styling the spikes, he keeps mumbling little things like "There's too much red in it..." and "But I won't say anything till it's done..."

8. He likes girls who dress like him. His longest relationship was with British model Lauren Gold (she even spent a summer with him in Halmstad):

And here are a couple of his other girlfriends, to show you his preferences seem rather set. When a reporter asked what he was looking for in a woman he said "To describe my ideal woman is pretty difficult", but then "flashed a naughty grin" and said: "In my locker at school I had a poster of Vanessa Paradis. I really liked her."

9. And here's a couple of pretty!pics:

10. As regards to sex, you could say Freddie's fallen into the Swedish Sex Trap. In that Swedes are often pretty open and honest about their sexual activities, and what they say, then, will often be blown out of proportions. Before the Euro 00, Freddie was interviewed (then 23 years old), and the British press transformed his answers into a story about, quote: “the Swedish ban on sex before games, and our Freddie Ljungberg's apparent preference for whacking away solo all night in front of porn instead”. This is what was said in the interview:
Reporter: "By the way - when you're staying at hotels with the national squad - do you have access to pay-channel television?"
Freddie: "Sure, that's the first thing we switch on and watch."
R: "But you don't watch porn flicks, do you?"
F: "Of course, you get them occasionally. You sit there zapping between channels, and you watch them for a little while. But it's not like I'm glued to the screen watching them. I usually watch televised movies. We hang around in hotel rooms so much anyway and in the afternoons we usually don't have anything else to do."
R: "I see. But it doesn't seem like a really good way to get prepared for the Euros? Staying up all night long watching porn?"
F: "I didn't say that! I just said that we have all the pay-channels."
R: "Speaking of that, what's your attitude to having sex before matches?"
F: "I usually don't have sex before matches. I turn it down if I've got a match the same day. I guess it's a mental thing. I want to keep my feeling and touch sharp. It’s like I loose the feeling if I do it before a match. I have, a couple of times before, and then my feet felt like concrete when I kicked the ball. If I've got a match at three o 'clock, I'll wait until after that."

He also spoke quite frankly in this interview (pretty much my favourite quote):
"[Freddie] recently told Out Magazine that the hardest part of being a footballer was the injuries. 'This past season I broke two ribs and two bones in my right hand. It makes it hard to shake hands - not to mention certain other things.'"

The sex ban was brought up again in a later interview:
Reporter: "Is it true you're not allowed sex before a match?"
Freddie: "We are always in a hotel the night before, so it's probably true. I try not to."
R: "You try not to, or you try not to stick to the rule?"
F: "No, I try not to have sex!"

Though by this interview, he seemed to have finally learnt his lesson:
Reporter: "You have said you prefer a curvy woman with brains - has your view changed on that?"
Freddie: "Erm. Aha. I think I'll skip that question."
R: "Don't want to narrow the potential field too much?"
F: "No, it's just that every time I talk about sex, it makes big news and it gets embarrassing. During Euro 2000, I did an interview and answered a couple of questions about sex. After that, everywhere [the Swedish squad] went in Europe there were big stories on it, with psychologists analysing my comments."

And consequently, he did show a lot of restraint in this one, with OUT magazine:
Reporter: "So, darling, are you a member of the Foreskin Anonymous?"
Freddie: "Sorry?"
R: "Are you a member of Foreskin Anonymous?"
F: "I don’t know what that is.
R: "C’mon Freddie, don’t play dumb with G.W.! We know all about you, and you are not dumb. Are you circumcised or not circumcised?"
F: "What? Are you kidding?"
R: "I ask the pertinent questions. Didn’t they tell you?"
F: "Well, that’s why I had underwear on. So you wouldn’t know."

(...)

R: "What would you consider your greatest physical asset – your amazing legs, you six pack abdominals, or your tight butt? G.W. believes it is your butt. Do you wax it?"
F: "No, I don’t."
R: "You never wax the cho-cho?"
F: "I haven’t got a clue what you’re talking about."
R: "Freddie, please! You are not going to play the dumb jock with G.W.!"
F: "I know, but you can’t ask me such intimate questions..."

(...)

R: "I tell you, when I do go to London, I will be having a hands-on interview with that lunchbox of yours."
F: "Good luck."
R: "And who has the biggest lunchbox in the Arsenal locker rooms?"
F: "Do you really think you’ll get an answer there? No way."

(He'll still visit sick children sporting giant hickeys, though.)

I also think that part of why some people find Freddie - less straight - has to do with the fact that he's from Sweden, as well. I mean, just recently I logged on to our daily news paper to find a story about how one of our most "macho" actors, Kjell Bergquist (he usually stars in Swedish copflicks) had felt up singer Martin Stenmarck on stage, while they were performing in a show. Stenmark spoke about it as follows:

Stenmark: "Usually it's women who'll get a taste of his lips, but this time it was my turn, and I will tell you he has got the softest mouth. It started out as just a peck on the cheek, to show that straight men can be physical with each other and show affection, too. And one thing led to another."
Reporter: "Was there tongue involved?"
S: "As to that, I'll leave you guessing. We've got to keep some of the mystery."
R: "And then he grabbed your package?"
S: "He did, yeah. He does it all the time during the show. Although I wasn't prepared for it at that time."
R: "It looked like he was pretty rough?"
S: "Yeah, but that was unintentional. He didn't mean to."
R: "Did it hurt?"
S: "Yes, but that's okay. Heat of the moment, you know."

You know? That's how Freddie would answer, as well, just go on and on. It's the same as when the boys in Swedish Idol photographed themselves in bed together to post on their fanblogs, or when our number one male sex symbol, Mikael Persbrandt, taught two male reporters to shoot a love scene that led all the way to a full-blown sex scene. It's just something Swedish men do.

When sports journalists pressed Freddie to deny rumours that he was gay, he'd usually just say he thought the attention was "a compliment" and that his family and friends knew who he was. But when he was interviewed by the gay magazine Attitude, he stated it plainly:
"I'm not. If I were gay, I would just say it. I have tons of gay friends, always have, it wouldn't be a problem to me."

The Attitude article was brought up in a Swedish interview:
Reporter: "You’ve always been quiet about your private life. But you recently went public about not being homosexual in the magazine Attitude."
Freddie: "Yeah. They asked me to confirm or deny it, and I felt a gay magazine was the right place to talk about it. But really, it’s not much to do a story on, haha..."

All of this would have been very convincing if it wasn't for this interview:

Reporter: "What would you do if you weren't a footballer?"
Freddie: "A fighter pilot. It was my childhood dream."
R: "Like Top Gun?"
F: "Yeah! "

****

If you would like some youtubed Freddie, I recommend the Japanese commercial he did with Ono Shinji. I'm in love with this icon kellystars made from it:

Here's is a random interview with him in English, because he just speaks the cutest English. For any Swedish-speakers out there, there was a fairly long interview with him after the Golden Ball ceremony. And here's a delightful example of Freddie being too light and springy for his own good. As stated, the Sky documentary has been removed from Youtube, but there are some scenes from it included in this fanvid.

Finally, here's some shirtless pics of Freddie. There are really rather a lot of them on the net (here's a collection of the CK ads), but I like these the best:

before school piles up

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 00:11:46 GMT

Since the Zlatan interview in the "Grynet Show" is one of my favourite events ever televised, I've borrowed the DVD from the library and translated it. Also taken screenshots, because the youtube version is too blurry for the prettiness of Zlatan to shine through, I think.

Background: "The Grynet Show" is a children's show that advocates gay rights and feminism. "Grynet" (played by the actress Elin Ek) is especially considered a role model for very young girls. In the DVD menue, the Zlatan interview is in the cathegory "Meeting people", together with "Grynet at the Pride Festival" and "Grynet is elected Heterosexual of the Year" (this was at the Gay Gala - it's a sort of gay Oscars broadcasted every year in the state TV channel, where, among others, a straight spokesperson for gay rights is given an award). There's also "Grynet meets the Prime Minister". The DVD background is shock pink.

Zlatan was interviewed in 2002, while he was playing in Ajax. He already was weary of the press, and Elin Ek also has said that the Ajax press secretary wouldn't let her get more than five minutes with him. But when she showed up at the stadium, he decided to stay for two hours, so she'd get a real program.

The interview starts with a close-up of Grynet, talking into the camera: "I'm in Amsterdam, in Holland, and I'm going to meet the best football player in the world. Zlatan. My idol. When I think about it, I can't breathe."

She then gets down to making chocolateballs for Zlatan by a canal. Chocolateballs are the dessert version of meatballs, sort of a "poor man's candy" made out of dried oats, margarine and cocoa powder (every Swedish kid has had them, you get really nostalgic tasting them). While making these, she is shown "drifting off", thinking about Zlatan, and they show footage of his career in Malmö FF and the national team. Among the clips is this really cute moment.

Afterwards Grynet proceeds into the Vondelpark where she interviews two adorable boys about Zlatan. One of them bursts out: "He is like a Greek god!" and she, highly pleased, corrects him: "He is a Swedish god." The other boy just looks cute and embarrassed.

Next cut shows Grynet in the Ajax stadium, making everything (leopard print blanket, shock pink pillows, heaps of candy and gifts) ready for Zlatan. When he arrives, she cries out and rushes over. And so it begins.

The Interview:

Grynet: Could I get a hug...?
Zlatan: Sure.
*he bends down, they hug, he follows her back to the blanket*
G: Just because I pity you for having to live in Holland I've brought all of this Swedish food!
Z: *surveys the scene, grins* Okay.
G: Hushållsost, and limpa, and these, these are the best. Oh, if you want to sit down you can sit on this, here. *hands him the pink, fluffy, heart-shaped cushion* Right, so these, I've made them myself, chocolateballs, you want one?
Z: I could...taste one.
G: And sockerdricka ["sugarwater"], they haven't got that either, have they?
Z: Nah. *smiles*
G: That's what I thought. *hands him a brimming glass, of which half spills onto the leopard print blanket. Zlatan giggles* This is for you!
Z: *tastes a chocolateball*
G: So I thought I'd read you a poem that I wrote myself!
Z: Okay.
G: Because everyone knows I've got a crush on you.
Z: Is that so....?
G: Yes, everyone, all of my friends, they were like, "So you're meeting with Zlatan, you've got such a crush on him" and I'm like "I totally have." I've got to sit a bit closer when I read it.
Z: Right.
*in the background a man slowly crosses the field, staring at Zlatan on the fluffy pillow*
G: I put hearts on it too, okay?
Z: *snorts*

(I Swedish, it rhymes, which makes it kind of cute.)

"Zlatan, you're my hero
You score the best goals
And you're so sweet when you smile
You ought to do it all the time."

"When you play I grow weak
I wish we could be together always
You have the cutest accent
It tickles my ears like a breeze."

G: Cool, eh?
Z: Sounds good...
G: You can have it, here.
Z: Right.
G: You can take it with you, and put it up somewhere at your place and look at it once in a while...
Z: I'll put it next to my bed.
G: Yes! That would be awesome!
Z: *grins*

*footage of the Ajax stadium*

G: So do you play football every day?
Z: I play football every day.
G: Isn't it really annyoing, having to shower all the time?
Z: *laughs* Nah, it's nice to shower after a nice hard training. You've sweated a lot, run a lot.
G: But don't you get prune fingers?
Z: *laughs* Er...well, you have to keep in shape. That's important.
G: I think that's really nice. And you smell so nice too!
Z: *gets embarrassed and makes cute faces*
G: You can smell it when you're sitting this close. I feel sorry for all the people watching, cause they can't smell it.
Z: Yeah I know... pity...
G: I smell pretty good too, although it just smells prickig korv here at the moment.
Z: Yeah, it does.
G: I'll just edge a little closer...

*footage of Amsterdam*

G: But what is it like, coming to a new club, where everyone's good at football? No one sucks, no one just tags along...?
Z: *laughs*
G: But, you know, everyone's just as good, everyone gets to play.
Z: Yes, for sure.
G: Isn't it hard to be friends then?
Z: Yeah, there's the competition, and in the beginning you'll get some strange looks, you know, as a newcomer, someone's who been bought for a lot of money. But you've just got to deliver. You've got to show them who you are, and of course get to know them as fast as possible. We've got a lot of international players, though...players not from Holland.
G: So they know what it's like, being the new guy.
Z: *smiles* Right.

*cut to the pitch.

G: Zlatan, I brought my own shields.
Z: Yeah, you've got to protect your legs.
G: Shields are really good. *puts on pink shields*
Z: *smiles* Yeah.
G: Do you use them too?
Z: I do.
G: *puts two coats on the ground* So these are the goal posts...
Z: Right.
G: How's that?
Z: Yeah, it looks fine.
G; I think I should get to start with the ball, since I'm the guest.
Z: Of course.
G: *gets the ball and instantly scores. She does a victory lap while Zlatan patiently goes to get the ball. Grynet (or rather the actress playing Grynet) totally sneaks a peek at ~~his~~ him.*

*cut to the blanket*

G: *reaches for her bag* One might think it's your birthday with all these gifts.
Z: It's coming up...
G: Really? When?
Z: October the third.
G: Aww, lucky you!
Z: Yeah.
G: Will you have a birthday party?
Z: I'm thinking about it. *plays along* Maybe you can fix me up with something.
G: Oh, you know it! Now look at this, we'll do this thing. This is my camera.
*she takes a picture of the two of them with a polaroid and gets the photo*
G: That's what good about these, see, you get it straight away!
Z: I know that...
G: *rumages through her bag, pulls out a really girly, sparkling frame* Tada! This is for you - a frame.
Z: Right.
G: So you can put it up somewhere where you live...
Z: By the bed, right? Next to the poem.
G: Exactly!

*cut to the pitch*

Z: Ready?
G: Yeah!

*they play. Grynet scores twice and gloats about it. Then Zlatan shows off a bit and scores a goal. Grynet runs after him, stumbles and falls, and doesn't move from the ground*
Z: Aww, don't get upset, Grynet.
G: I was going to lie down.
Z: I see.
G: I'm tired, I needed to rest. It's really important to rest after you play.
Z: That's true.
G: *pants audibly*
Z: But you did good.
G: *lights up* Really?
Z: You definitely delivered.
G: So did you.
Z: *looks a bit surprised, laughs*

*

*cut to Zlatan and Grynet walking up the stands*

G: Which seats are the best?
Z: Those.
G: Good, that's where we're sitting.
*they sit down. Grynet puts her arms up on the backs of the adjoining seats, so that one arm is resting on the back of Zlatan's chair*
G: Is it okay if I keep my arms here?
Z: Sure. Make yourself at home.
G: Thank you!

*they survey the field*
G: So how many people does the arena take?
Z: 54 000, I think.
G: That's insane!
Z: Yeah.
G: But if you were seeing someone, would you be able to get her tickets to any seat here?
Z: *mock diva-like* I'd get her the best ones.
G: These ones?
Z: Yeah, this side, where we're sitting together.
G: *grins* Yeah, that's great.
Z: *laughs*

G: So, when you play a game, do you ever record it and watch it?
Z: I do, sometimes, but it's mostly my dad.
G: Really?
Z: Yes, he's got a collection at home.
G: Aww, that's parents for you!
Z: Yes, he's proud of me. That's good. *stops smiling for some reason*
G: So... Would you like to teach me some football terms, so I can show off? I already know "offside".
Z: You know offside...how about 1-2, 1-2?
G: Yeah?
Z: You don't know that one?
G: No.
Z: "1-2, 1-2, wall."
G: *screams down to an imaginary team* Come on! 1-2, 1-2!
Z: *giggles*
G: Great, no one else will understand that!
Z: Definitely not....
*silence*
Z: It's important to know about football, though.
G: And I definitely do.
Z: *nods, trying to look serious*
G: Both playing and watching.
Z: Yeah. You showed that today.
G: And so did you.
Z: *wrinkles his nose, giggles*

G: It's so sad, but I've got to leave you now.
Z: Really?
G: Yeah.
Z: Well, I'll miss you.
G: I will miss you so much. But at least you've got the poem and the picture to look at.
Z: By the bed, right...
G: And I'll look at you on TV. Would you give me another hug?
Z: I would.
*they hug*
G: I think I got stuck, I have to hug you forever...
Z: *muffled* Thats alright...
G: This is so nice.
Z: *wrinkles his nose like he's a bit embarrassed, smiles*

*cut to Zlatan walking Grynet out of the stadium*
G: Could I have one final hug?
Z: Of course.
*he bends down to hug her*
G: Thank you... Goodbye, Zlatan.
Z: Goodbye.
G: And don't put up with any bullshit. [this is her motto in the show]
Z: Oh, I won't. Same to you.
G: *heavy sigh* Bye.
Z: Goodbye.

*as she walks away from him, a song comes on with the following lyrics:*

"I've never seen anyone half as beautiful
Not fake or jaded like the others
You brought to life what I thought had died.

But even though this hurts, and I suffer
we've got to break our bond
we can't fight against fate."

*cut to Zlatan who's got this shiny light around him. The music continues:*

"I've never seen anyone half as beautiful..."

*cut to Grynet who walks on, and slowly fades away*

~The End.~

(In the Special Features section, there's a clip with the hug in the stands in full length (it's long), and also the whole football game. It has got some more jeans action, as well as a lovely back shot, and also the Grynet actress quite clearly copping a feel of Zlatan's leg. O.O)

Right, so now it's back to studying. But that cheered me up.

Sat, 08 Sep 2007 13:52:23 GMT

So Sweden faces Denmark tonight (qualifying for the Euro 08) and I'm really torn about it. If Sweden wins it means we're in, basically, but if Denmark loses they have no chance of making it. And they are such a pretty, pretty team. So, as a homage to this bittersweet event, I will take a moment to admire the badass prettiness of Liverpool's Daniel Agger ("Dagger" in the British press, naturally) and the pretty prettiness of Villareal's Jon Dahl Tomasson. Since Tomasson used to play in Milan (02-05), there will be a considerable amount of Milan nostalgia, too - that would be the Milan of 2005, which I believe lost the Champions League solely due to their collapsing beneath the combined beauty of Maldini, Nesta, Tomasson, Shevchenkov and Kaká.

So first, Daniel Agger, 22, Liverpool. Tattoo artist, bar owner, and the "charming, long-lashed young man who turns into a ruthless brutal devil whenever he sets foot on the field", as our sports chronicler fearfully put it yesterday. Seemingly always sporting a black eye or bruised lips, Agger has had to sit through numerous talks with coach Rafael Benitez about how you don't foul teammates at practise. He's very talented, though - he's a defender, but check out this goal he scored against West Ham.

Picspam:

(Agger/Kaká would be hot. *nods*)

(He is very cute with his girlfriend, too.)

I also must add that Benitez obviously likes freckles. I'm not the slighest bit surprised he does his part to make Agger/Torres come about, because you can't not love the thought of that boy paired off with this boy:

(What do you mean Agger looks like his bad, bad twin? *shifty eyes*)

And then there's Jon Dahl Tomasson, 31, Villareal. He scored three goals for Milan in the Champions League of 2002-03 (which they won), and 12 goals in their Serie A title winning 2003-04 season. In the Euro 2004, he managed three goals in four games and was selected for the Euro 2004 Team of the Tournament. In the 2005 CL final against Liverpool, he scored on his attempt in the penalty shootout, but you know the outcome (in case you want to watch Tomasson's, here are the penalties, if you have the heart to watch it). The following season he moved to Villareal, where they call him "Jonaldo". He's a great striker (46 goals for Denmark), and a very sweet and charming man. Also, of course, he's very pretty.

Prettiness picspam:

(Heee.)

Random picspam:

He wears cute and comfy clothes.

And sometimes sports the Brideshead Revisited look (it is my firm belief that all pretty Englishmen descend from Danes).

He seems to be made out of sunshine...

...and light...

...but can occasionally whip out the bitchy - like when he scored both goals against Sweden in the Euro 04 and did his victory lap hushing the Swedish crowd down (I thought Zlatan would explode).

His best friend in the national team is Jesper Gronkjaer, he of the devilish grin (see! the Danish team so pretty!).

They always share a room at the hotels. <3

He looks pretty in suits.

And also boasts the world's most adorable bedhead.

Milan Picspam:

He had to participate in all the silly photoshoots. ;P *runs from the milanistas*

And of course, Dolce e Gabbana welcomed their new striker...

...and made him a member of the family.

With Maldini:

So this is just a random group shot but look at Maldini.

With Kaká/Sheva:
(that would be the couple he always skillfully managed to search out for group hugs)

But of course, he had his finest moments with one of the very few footballers to match his beauty - Alessandro Nesta:

Okay so these pics are really completely dorky and don't do their beauty justice.

Nesta thinks about after the game. Tomasson totally keeps his cool.

They faced each other when Denmark played Italy in the Euro 04.

And agreed to change shirts after the game.

And the fangirls reacted much like Cafu in this shot below:

The End.

Okay, so I'm totally going to cheer for Sweden tonight, because, Zlatan! Get one in already! But perhaps the pretty just can't be denied.

(Most of these pics come from Tomasson picspams which are tagged at footballslash. My favourite is the brilliant one posted by shubassdk here. Some of them I also found at the Tomasson fansite. The Agger ones are from his lovely LJ community.)